


New Beginnings

by p28



Category: Doctor Foster (TV)
Genre: Divorce, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Kids, Little bit of a slow burn, Older Woman/Younger Woman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p28/pseuds/p28
Summary: Gemma and Tom move to London, Gemma gaining full custody of Tom, the two finding peace in their new life. Little does she know that Kate and her daughter Emily have done the same, the two shocked to see each other at the grocery store. What shocks them both even more is how neither of them hate each other, if anything they know each other better than anyone, and know exactly what the other one needs.
Relationships: Gemma Foster/Kate Parks
Comments: 94
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't tell me y'all didn't watch Doctor Foster and low key thought Gemma and Kate should just get together

Gemma liked London, well the London suburbs. She and Tom were close enough to the city for easy access, but far enough to have a little bit of quiet. They liked having quiet, especially after the past 3 years. It had been hell, there was no doubt about that. But now there were in London with a nice semi-detached home, Tom having a few friends at school, Gemma reconnecting with old friends from London. They loved their new life in London. They would go to therapy together and separately, but they would also go explore London, and even go to the gym together. The gym acted as an extra form of therapy for the both of them, but they also liked going to the gym together just for the sake of doing something together. Tom was doing well, making some new friends and making progress in therapy. Gemma was happy to see Tom finally getting back to some form of stability. Gemma worked at a clinic in the city, sometimes going out for a drink with old friends after work. She didn't feel the need to start dating yet, although she missed the perks of being in a relationship; the nice hand holding shit that was cute but also the sex. But she and Tom were finally getting into a routine of stability and she didn't want to rock the boat. 

\---

Kate loved London. With its endless museums and kid friendly activities, London was the perfect place to keep Emily entertained while also being close to jobs. Kate had friends in London but usually didn't have time to go out for drinks, especially now since her parents retired in France and weren't able to watch Emily whenever Kate needed them to. But with all the drama from the recent years, Kate was happy to just be in a little routine; going to class, coming home and taking care of Emily, sometimes having a friend over after she put Emily to bed and having a glass of wine. But there was something missing, she wasn't bored per say, but she more or less wanted something _more_ and by more she meant someone to wake up next to, someone to look after Emily when Kate had a long day and just wanted to take a long bath uninterrupted, someone to fuck late at night. 

\---

Gemma stopped at the grocery store after work, texting Tom to see if they needed anything else while she was out. She was tired from work but still popped into the market, grabbing milk and some other groceries, but then she turned down the aisle with the cereal and saw her. Kate had Emily sitting in the trolley, picking out a box of cereal. They froze when they saw each other. Gemma just slightly opened her mouth in shock, while Kate kept on a stone cold face. Gemma was the first to attempt to end the awkward silence. 

"Um, I didn't know you were in London-"  
"Yeah."  
"Is Simon?"  
"No, I got full custody."  
"Good. That's...good."  
"Yep." 

Gemma just nodded and awkwardly took a box of cereal Tom wanted off the shelf, beginning to walk away. 

"Do you-"

Gemma quickly turned around to find Kate trying to find the right words, Kate in a debate with herself in her head. 

"Would you, um, want to get...a drink...sometime?"  
"Sure," 

Gemma was completely caught off guard. Kate quickly trying to cover-up any sign of her being friendly. 

"Just because Tom and Emily are related,"  
"Yeah, of course, that sounds...nice, just text me when you're free you must be busy," 

Kate had a moment of weakness. 

"No! We're not busy at all," 

Gemma just smiled and Kate quickly realized what she just said. Did she seem desperate? 

"Um yeah, I'll text you," 

Kate tried to say casually, covering up the embarrassment of her quickly saying that she didn't have a life. 

\---

Gemma just said okay, smiling and walking away, checking out and walking home, wondering what the hell just happened. Kate and Emily were living in London. Not a big deal. They were shopping at the same shop as Gemma was, so they must live near by. Not a big deal. Kate asking for them to spend time together. Big deal. Really fucking big deal. Gemma tried to not get overwhelmed as she walked home, taking deep breaths. This was good, she and Kate could finally sit down and have a one on one conversation, wait, one on one. Now Gemma was thinking about what Kate was going to say, what accusations would the two of them make. Breathe, just breathe. Thankfully, with all the therapy she was attending, she calmed herself down and got home, running through her coping strategies. 

\---

Shit, shit, shit, shit, Kate said in her head, trying to carry on with her shopping. She knew that Gemma and Tom lived in London, but she never thought they would run into each other. London is huge, and both parties were busy, there was no way they'd run into each other right? But here they were, agreeing to have dinner. Kate wondered why she asked Gemma for drinks. She had nothing to say to the woman. Well, deep down Kate did feel a tiny part of herself feeling the need to say sorry. She thought that she and Simon were in love, when really he was just a loser. Maybe a part of her wanted to _thank_ Gemma, thank her for saving her from a marriage that would've fallen apart, thank her for getting Emily away from Simon before he could wreck havoc on her life. She wanted to thank her for helping her realize that her husband was a fraud. 

\---

Kate texted Gemma a date and time, Gemma saying 'sure, come round I'll make dinner.' Gemma told Tom, their number one rule was honesty, and Tom said that although he thought it'd be a little bit awkward, that he would sit for the dinner, wanting to know what Kate had to say. Gemma didn't push Tom, making sure that he knew that if he was uncomfortable that Gemma could make an excuse and get him out. Kate was nervous, constantly debating whether or not to cancel. In the end, Kate was ringing the bell, little Emily standing next to her, reaching up to hold her mothers hand. Gemma just made salad and spaghetti, nothing too fancy. 

"Hi, come in," 

Gemma said to Kate, waving to a smiling Emily. Kate had never seen Gemma interact with kids, except for Tom and the one time she _took (low key kidnapped)_ Emily with her parents. But that was for a later time. They shuffled in, Gemma leading them to the kitchen. 

"It's nothing fancy..."  
"No, this is great, hi Tom,"

Tom just nodded his head, making a coke with ice. It was a little bit awkward, but they all sat at the table, talking about the things they like to do in London. Thankfully, with Emily there, she helped resolve any tension by doing something cute. 

\---

"I miss them at that age," 

Gemma cooed, Kate sipping from her wine glass. Tom retired for the evening, Kate and Gemma moving to the living room, Emily playing with a couple of toys she brought. 

"It's nice when they get older and they start to really have their own personality and opinions but it's nice when they're little and just want to cuddle and play."

Kate nodded, telling herself mentally to not be a cunt and to try and be friendly. She was the one that suggested getting together after all. 

"Are you and Tom...alright?"  
"Yeah, lots of therapy but we're good, if anything we're closer, more honest."

Gemma could see that the younger woman was really trying to be nice, but understood that it wasn't easy. 

"I'm sorry about everything but, if you were in my position,"  
"I understand. It took me a while, but I get it. And you don't have to apologize, if anything I should be...thanking you?"

Kate looked like she was swallowing glass, Gemma a little bit surprised at the honesty. 

"Oh you don't have to thank-"  
"No, really, I was...I was young and naive and I'm just glad I've gotten it over with, you know?"  
"Yeah, me and you had the same story with him, young and in love and wanting to hold onto it,"  
"Yes! I look back and I realize some of the stuff he said should have been warning signs, and the more I thought about it the more I understood your side,"

There was a moment of silence as Emily climbed onto the couch. 

"I never tried to see it from your point of view but when I found out he slept with you that night...I was just...I said to him 'I don't know how she does this, I can't do this' because I was just falling apart and I just want to say...sorry... and I know it'll never replace what I've done-"

Gemma reached over and put her hand on Kate's knee. 

"Thank you, really,"

Emily yawned, leaning onto Kate and falling asleep. 

"You must have your hands full with her,"  
"Mhm, a little, it's hard to have my classes and come home and be mummy if that makes sense? And I worry about it just being me, I've always had both of my parents around, spoiling me,"  
"I wouldn't worry about it too much, she adores you and you're a great mother, but I do understand what it feels like, when I had Tom I had the depression and all of that, I just couldn't cope but it gets better,"  
"I've always wanted kids and I thought me and him were golden and now it's just us, it's different as to how I grew up,"  
"I know, I always hear people saying that a boy needs a father but I just roll my eyes at that...anyway, if you ever need a night to yourself I'd be more than happy to watch her, I bet she loves dress up- god that probably sounds so weird, ex wife babysitting other ex wife's-"  
"No, thank you, it's nice to know I have someone nearby, all of my friends aren't, I don't know, they just don't have kids and I haven't made many friends that have kids and my friends are always saying let's go out but they don't understand that I need to call a sitter and they don't understand bedtime routines-"  
"Well if you ever need help just let me know, I'd be more than happy to help you out especially since your parents are retired in France, I saw pictures on Facebook,"  
"Thanks, that's really...comforting?" 

Gemma just smiled, walking them out, Kate carrying a sleeping Emily. 

\---


	2. Chapter 2

Kate slid her vibrator back into her bedside table, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She felt like a loser. She was 28, divorced and had to fuck herself because no one else would. One of her fathers friends had a business and their receptionist was going on maternity leave so at least Kate would be getting some money from filling in for her. But still, everyday was the same, the only highlight of her day being her daughter. She wasn't miserable, but she wasn't happy. She envisioned a life of having kids and having an amazing house and going on amazing holidays with a sexy husband, but now she laid in an empty bed after having to turn to a vibrator for pleasure. She grabbed her phone and texted a guy from tinder, accepting to meet up for drinks at the local pub tomorrow night. 

\---

Kate sat at the bar for nearly an hour, the guy finally texting her a lame excuse, Kate feeling ridiculous. She had seriously waited an hour for a jerk to text her 'sorry can't make it tonight'. She had put on makeup and put on a great outfit all for her to now feel tears begin to well up in her eyes. She took another sip of her drink, telling herself to stop feeling sorry for herself and pull herself together. She decided to go home after she finished her cocktail, wanting to discreetly leave the bar and not have everyone notice that she'd been stood up. She took yet another sip, hearing the doors open, a group of people walking in. They were laughing about something, their heels clacking over to a table. Then she heard someone in heels come up behind her. 

"Hi," 

She turned around to find Gemma standing there, work ID still hanging around her neck. Great. 

"Oh, hi."   
"Do you mind?"   
"No." 

Gemma slid onto the stool next to her, flagging down the bartender and ordering a gin and tonic. 

"Waiting for friends?"   
"No." 

Kate was clearly upset about something, not looking at Gemma but staring down at her glass, swirling around the crushed ice with the little straw. Gemma saw that her eyes were slightly glassy, connecting the dots with the outfit and makeup. Oh. 

"Do you want to come over and sit with us? It's just some girls from the office,"   
"No, thanks." 

Gemma knew that Kate probably hadn't ever been stood up. 

"Something come up for the guy?"   
"I guess." 

Kate took a sip from her drink, feeling humiliated. 

"If it's anything, you look beautiful and he can fuck off." 

Kate gave a weak smile, not wanting to let Gemma know how much better that made her feel. Gemma saw the little smile, feeling butterflies in her stomach. What the fuck? Why was she feeling butterflies? She only said that Kate looked beautiful. 

"Come over, they're really funny, might cheer you up a little," 

Kate looked over at the two girls Gemma walked in with. One was probably only a few years older than Gemma, the other being closer to Kate's age. Gemma stood up, nodding over and saying 'come on,' taking Kate's hand and leading her over to the table. Kate looked down at Gemma's hand on hers, smiling. Whoa. Hold up. Wait a minute. Why did she smile at Gemma holding her hand. She was just being nice. Nothing more. Kate never felt like this when other people held her hand. What was she feeling? No. No way. Nope. Not possible. Thankfully Gemma started introducing Kate to the other ladies, Kate being pulled out of her own thoughts. Gemma's coworkers were nice, Kate not really saying anything, listening to a funny story one of them was telling a funny story. Kate found a topic of conversation being their kids, one of the ladies talking about how her son is always going out with friends and how grown up he is, the other lady telling the story of how her 4 year old came running over to her holding a squirrel. 

"A live squirrel! She had an iron grip on the poor thing and she just ran over screaming 'mummy! mummy! can we keep him?' and I was busy freaking out cause it's a squirrel for Christ's sake but Lloyd was so calm he just explained to her why we couldn't...I'm never showing her those bloody Disney movies ever again! We went home and she kept on saying 'mummy I'm Snow White!" 

Kate laughed. Like, genuinely laughed. With Gemma's friends there was no competition, no one-upping, no jabs at anyone, no judgement. When Kate went out with some of her friends, she had to be wearing the perfect outfit, makeup on-point, and she had to listen to them complain about how their holiday villa's room service wasn't fast enough or how someone owned 'cheap' liquor. Sure, Kate loved her friends, but some of them were for status. She really only had two or three close friends, her bitchiness attracting other bitchy people. Gemma and Kate said goodbye to the two ladies, getting their coats on as they paid their tabs. 

"What are you doing?" 

Kate slid Gemma's credit card back to her, handing the bartender her card. 

"Just put it all on this,"   
"You don't have to," 

Kate just shushed her, pushing her card into the bartenders hands, picking up Gemma's wristlet and putting her card back in. 

"Thanks,"   
"I owe you for making this shit night a bit better," 

Gemma smiled, the bartender handing back Kate's card and receipt. Kate turned around and walked out, giving Gemma a 'are you coming?' look when she didn't follow. Gemma followed her like a puppy, the two women walking on pavement in silence for a few seconds until Kate piped up. 

"Why are you so nice to me?"   
"What?"   
"I ruined your life and you're still nice. I don't get it."   
"I've realized over time that we were both victims, Simon is a psychopath and you happened to be the one he tried to drag down with him,"   
"But I caused you all that pain, when I found out you two slept together I was...broken into a million pieces and I don't know how you can stand to be around me when I'm the one that caused that feeling for you,"   
"You didn't, well, I felt like you did at first, but you were young and Simon took advantage of you and you did the right thing and left him, I should actually be the one asking you why you're being nice to me," 

Kate stopped walking. She was pissed. She didn't like the verbal sparring. Gemma was challenging her.

"I-" 

She really didn't know why she asked Gemma out when they ran into each other at the supermarket. She truly had no fucking clue. She should've said 'bitch' and kept on walking, but instead she stopped. Why? That night at dinner she didn't make any jabs, she didn't say anything to rock the boat, she was just....neutral. She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"I don't know why. Does it really matter?" She spit out.   
"No, I suppose not," Gemma said with a shrug. 

Gemma turned and kept on walking, Kate catching up. Kate had to win. She had to win this conversation, even though it wasn't something to be won. 

"I'm not being _nice_ I'm being _neutral_ and if I was being nice, you probably wouldn't even like it because...you're different." She mumbled, huffing as the wind made her face cold.   
"Ouch. Because I'm different? What's that supposed to mean? And I think I would actually quite like it if you were nice, I like you even though you're 'neutral'" 

It threw Kate off, 'I would actually quite like it if you were nice,' what the hell did that mean? 'I like you even though you're neutral' What the fuck? 

"What the fuck!" She said as she came to an abrupt stop, stomping her foot that hit the ground. It didn't help that both women had alcohol in their systems.   
"What?"   
"You're not supposed to like me! Your husband cheated on you with me for _two_ years _AND_ knocked me up!"   
"Trust me, I didn't like you for a long time! But I've moved on with my life, and I'll have you remember that _YOU_ asked me to go out!"   
"I don't know why I did!"   
"I don't either!" 

Kate ran her hands through her hair, taking a deep breath. Gemma just looked down the street, letting the younger woman recuperate. Kate looked at Gemma, a bad idea popping into her head, but she had to put an end to whatever the fuck she was feeling and this was the only way she knew how. 

"Gemma." 

She turned around and Kate closed the space in between them, putting her hands on Gemma's cheeks, pulling her in, and kissing her. Gemma did't object, melting into the kiss. Kate pulled back, Gemma's eyes fluttering open. Kate didn't even think, nor did Gemma. Instead they crashed their lips together. Neither had felt anything like it, not even with Simon. Without realizing it, they were rushing back to Kate's flat, Gemma calling Tom and explaining that her friend had too much to drink and was throwing up, Gemma taking it upon herself to spend the night to make sure she was okay. Once they were outside of Kate's door, Kate pushed Gemma up against the wall, forming a hickey on the brunettes neck, Gemma trying her best to find Kate's keys. Kate took the keys, unlocking the door, the sitter getting up. Gemma patiently waited, hoping the sitter wouldn't notice their swollen lips. Kate pulled notes out of her wallet, trying her best to quickly get the sitter out. Kate closed the door and went back to Gemma, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her before pulling away. 

"Two seconds," 

Kate rushed to Emily's room, making sure she was asleep, closing her door, rushing to her own bedroom and throwing the pile of clothes on her bed into her closet. Kate stood near the door, crossing her legs as she stood, trying to relieve some of the pressure between her legs. Kate came back out, kissing her, but also getting them towards her bedroom as they ripped off each others clothes. To be honest, neither of them knew what was going on, their brains were on autopilot, their number one priority being fucking each other. They stumbled onto the bed, Gemma straddling Kate, pulling back for a second to see Kate's gorgeous lingerie she had worn in case her date went anywhere. 

"You're so pretty." 

Little did she know that Kate had a praise kink, Kate immediately pulling Gemma back down. 

\---

Gemma woke up, Kate being the big spoon, her arm wrapped around Gemma's waist. They were both still naked, hair messy from last nights activities. She listened to the rain quietly tapping on the window, stirring a little bit, Kate's arm holding on tighter to Gemma. She made a little 'mhm' sound, nuzzling her face into Gemma's neck. It was the best sex both of them had ever had. Gemma bit her lip as she remembered the night, kissing Kate's collarbone, her sitting on Kate's face, her squeezing Kate's breasts as she ate her out, Kate keeping Gemma's hands there as she moaned. Kate was slightly awake, still tired from the sex. Hell, they must've gone for more than four rounds. She knew Gemma was awake, Gemma slightly turning her head to see the room. They laid like that for a few minutes, neither of them speaking up or moving. Then, Kate got up and walked to the bathroom, coming back out and slipping back into bed. Gemma watched her walk out, ass looking amazing, and watched her walk back in, smoothing her hair back and then proceeding to get back into bed without a word. She resumed her position as the big spoon, pulling Gemma closer, and kissing her shoulder before laying her head on the pillows. Gemma had never been more confused in her life. Meanwhile, Kate was screaming on the inside, refusing to believe that she wasn't dreaming. She didn't even mean to pull Gemma closer and kiss her shoulder...it just...happened without Kate even thinking about it. She decided to play it cool, hoping that Gemma would make the next move. Gemma rolled onto her back, looking over to Kate who had her eyes closed. Part of Kate hoped that if she kept her eyes closed that Gemma would disappear and she'd wake up from this crazy dream. No such luck. 

"Kate," 

Kate opened one eye first, accepting the fact that Gemma was in her bed, naked, after a night of them fucking. 

"Morning."   
"Morning." 

They both laid there in silence, Kate rolling onto her back as well, both of them looking up at the ceiling. 

"So..."  
"So, um, I don't really know what to say,"  
"I don't either obviously." Kate bit her tongue, she didn't mean to sound like a bitch.   
"I know...did you...like it?"   
"I don't know. Did you like it?" 

Gemma realized that Kate was never going to openly admit that she liked it, she'd have to give it time. 

"Yeah, I did like it, you were amazing." 

Gemma found it easier to say that since they were both looking up at the ceiling. Kate didn't move, or look away, but she did feel her face get hot. 

"Thanks." 

They laid there for a little bit longer, Gemma hoping that Kate would say something else, but they were pulled out of their own little world when there was a tiny knock at the door followed by a 'mummy? are you awake?'

"I'll be out in a minute, just let me get dressed!" 

They both sat up, both remembering that Gemma's clothes were out in the hall. Kate threw on a robe, stepping out and sliding the clothes into the bedroom with her foot and closing the door. She heard Kate saying to Emily that mummy had a friend sleep over, hearing Kate pour cereal into a bowl. She got her clothes on, creeping out into the hall, grabbing her coat that was thrown onto the kitchen table, seeing Emily on the couch watching some kids princess show. Emily didn't pay much attention, Gemma slipping on her coat and shoes. Kate watched her, Gemma reaching for the door and Kate just quietly saying 'I'll text you later.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think and if you want more!


	3. Chapter 3

Gemma walked out of the building, still processing everything that happened in the last 24 hours. She'd been at work, gone out for drinks with some coworkers, ended up sitting next to _Kate_ and then _kissing_ Kate and then _the rest_. She stopped and leaned against a little wall that acted as a fence. She took a couple deep breaths. Sure, she'd experimented at university once, but it only lasted a few weeks and it certainly wasn't with her ex-husbands _young mistress_. She didn't even initiate anything, Kate did, but then again, she didn't protest. She was equally guilty. But for some reason she didn't feel guilty. She didn't really feel anything, she wasn't fearful of consequences, she wasn't ashamed of them, she was...calm. Well, not really, but it felt right, yes, that was the word. Waking up next to Kate felt _right_. She tried to make sense of the situation and make sense of what she was feeling but she couldn't. It's as if all that anger she had once felt towards Kate had gone from vibrant color to black and white. She had moved on with the help of therapy, she had moved her and Tom to London, she had _moved on_ , but now she was doing the 'walk of shame'. She could have slept with anyone last night, anyone in the world, and it happened to be _Kate_. If you would have told her where she'd be right now a few months ago, Gemma would've told you that she was more likely to win the lottery and for the Earth to stop spinning. 

\---

Kate sat Emily at the kitchen table, the two of them eating cereal, Emily talking about one of her princess dolls. Kate listened as best she could and they went and sat on the couch to watch Frozen. Kate just sat with Emily in her lap, running her hands through her hair as she stared at the radiator. What the fuck had she done? She's the one who kissed Gemma, not the other way around. She didn't know why she kissed her, she wished she did, but she didn't. She didn't know why the hell they both pulled back and looked into each others eyes and then came together again. She didn't know why she left hickies on Gemma's neck like some teenage boy, and she definitely didn't know why she had kissed Gemma's shoulder, knowing she was awake, and go back to spooning her. But worst of all, she _liked_ it. And Gemma liked it. And Kate felt her heart beat out of her chest when Gemma quietly said that she liked it. 

\---

Gemma started making herself a cup of tea, Tom coming downstairs. 

"She alright?"  
"Yeah, she just had a few margaritas and sometimes when you get to my age you can't handle margaritas like you used to," 

Gemma said with a little laugh, hoping Tom would buy it. He just shrugged his shoulders, reminding Gemma that he had football practice in an hour. Gemma was glad that she didn't have to go to his practices since they were right around the corner, counting down the minutes until she could collapse in bed and scream into her pillow. The events from last nights played on repeat in her head, Gemma feeling a little of bit of heat form between her thighs. She had some breakfast and took a shower, Tom knocking on the bathroom door and yelling that he was leaving for practice. She said okay and proceeded to spend the rest of the shower worrying about the way she said okay. Did she okay as in okay or did it sound like she was hiding something? She was overthinking, definitely overthinking. She tried to calm herself down, going and laying on the couch in pajamas cause fuck it, it was Saturday. With Tom's football, she usually spent her Saturday mornings at his games, but today was only a practice so she might as well enjoy the morning to herself. Oh wait. She can't. Why? Because she keeps on seeing Kate's beautiful face with her 'orgasm' expression on. And she keeps on thinking about Kate's lips and the things she did and ugh. She was starting to get annoyed at how she couldn't stop thinking about it. She needed answers. She needed an entire second by second analysis on last night. Just when she felt like she was breathing normally, her mind and heart not racing, she got a notification. 

_Up for lunch_

It was from Kate and Gemma ran to the kitchen sink (that was thankfully empty) and threw up. She rinsed out her mouth, standing up straight and looking at her phone that she'd threw onto the counter. She treated it like it was about to explode, carefully picking it up and turning it on and looking at the notification. She texted back 'sure' and clicked send, turning off her phone and setting it back on the counter. Kate immediately responded with the name of a restaurant and time. 

\---

Oh god. She was hoping that Gemma wouldn't reply, but when she did, Kate couldn't help but text back less than a minute later. She then texted her best friend, Tess, asking her to come over ASAP. For a brief second, she forgot that she even texted Gemma, and then remembered, fire alarms going off in her head. She seemed desperate. Wait no, she was the one being an adult and setting up a time to talk. Right? But technically she initiated everything? She leaned her head on the back of her hand, arm being propped up by the sofa. 15 minutes later, Tess showed up. 

"What's up?"   
"Oh god," 

Kate told Emily to go play in her room, feeling the tears come on. 

"Hun, what's wrong?"  
"I-I-I slept with oh god," 

She was crying now, the tears rushing down her cheeks, Kate trying to make it as quiet as possible so that Emily wouldn't hear. 

"Who is he? I'll fucking kill him, did he hurt you?"  
"No, I...you know Simon's ex-wife?"   
"Yeah, crazy bitch, went mad,"

Kate just looked at Tess, tears running down her face. 

"I was going to meet up with this guy a-and he stood me up and she w-was there,"   
"What the hell did she do?"   
"Sh-she didn't do anything, she was really nice and we ended up walking out together a-and I god damn it,"  
"Oh shit did you beat her up? Jesus, is her body laying dead in the bathroom or something?"  
"No, I...I don't know why I did it, I wasn't thinking, but..."  
"Just spit it out babe,"  
"I slept with her."

Tess's jaw dropped, literally. Kate covered her face with her hands. 

"Are you joking? Please tell me you're joking."

Kate shook her head, a quiet sniffle escaping. 

"Oh. My. God. Wow. Um. You and Gemma, slept together, as in, shagged?"  
"Obviously."   
"Holy shit."  
"Yeah." 

They sat there for a moment, Tess processing the information she'd just heard, Kate wiping the tears off. 

"Have you guys talked or-"  
"No. We woke up and she asked me if I liked it and I said I don't know did you like it? And she said yes and then Emily came and I just said I'll text you and I texted her and asked if she wanted to go to lunch and now we're going to lunch at 3."   
"Wow." 

Tess was still in shock, Kate getting up to get them both water. 

"Did you?"  
"What?"  
"Did you like it?"  
"I don't know, yes? I guess. I mean I woke up and I went and peed and then I got back into bed and I...kissed her shoulder and went back to spooning her,"  
"You WHAT?!"   
"Shhh,"   
"I need a total rundown"   
"So we get out the bar and I ask her why she's so damn nice to me and she asks why I'm nice to her and I didn't know how to answer and we sort of argued and then I kissed her and she kissed back," 

Kate took a deep breath, her brain was sprinting and she was talking fast. 

"And we just I don't know...we just got back here and we were ripping each others clothes off and I woke up and she was still there and I don't know okay?! I don't know!" 

They both took a long sip of their waters, eyebrows furrowed. 

"So. You and Gemma, had...sex, and now you're meeting her for lunch. What are you going to say?"  
"I don't know, that's why I texted you, I feel like an idiot." 

Emily came out, asking Kate to put a different dress on her barbie since she couldn't get it, running back into her room. 

"Are you going to take her?"   
"Yeah, it'll be an easy get away, I can always say I promised her ice cream or something,"  
"Clever, but we have got to figure out what you're going to say since you were the one who texted her."   
"I know." 

Kate mumbled, putting her hand in her hands, wishing the whole situation would just disappear. 

"Okay, we need to make a plan. I'm gonna ask you a list of questions and I'll see where you're at alright? Just answer yes or no.   
"Fine."   
"Last night were you super drunk, like about to black out, dancing on table tops?"  
"No."  
"Okay, did she kiss you back?"  
"Yes."   
"Would you say that there was any sexual tension before last night?"  
"No."   
"Is she attractive?"  
"I don't know-"  
"Yes or no."  
"Yes."   
"Was she giving off 'I wanna shag' vibes? Anything romantic or flirty?"  
"No."   
"Did you enjoy the sex?"  
"...Yes." 

Now Kate was really embarrassed. 

"Okay, that's perfectly fine, so would you say you want to have sex with her every again?"   
"I don't know."   
"Would you say you and her are on good terms right now?"  
"I guess so?" 

They both paused. 

"This might just be a weird PTSD thing? I mean this woman made your life a living hell and maybe there was just some hate sex?"   
"But it wasn't hate sex, it was....I don't know."   
"Did you think about Simon at all?"  
"No."   
"Did you regret it?"   
" I-No-I....I don't know?"  
"I can't help you, I guess just go to lunch and see if she has anything to say? Maybe you guys could just hookup? What if she wants more than hooking up?"  
"I don't even want to think about that possibility." 

\---

Gemma walked into the restaurant, seeing Kate and Emily sitting at a table in the back by a window. Emily was coloring a kids menu, Kate watching her and not noticing Gemma pull out a chair. 

"Oh hi."   
"Hi." 

Gemma sat down, waving to Emily and taking a sip from the glass of water that was already at the table. 

"So I guess we should talk about last night..." Kate said as Gemma set the glass back down.   
"Guess so,"   
"I, uh, haven't done anything like that, ever,"   
"Me either,"   
"Okay. You said that you...liked it? What does that mean?"  
"I enjoyed myself, I think the multiple rounds we went showed that. Look, we can forget it ever happened if you want, I know that what happened is...messy given our relation,"

A waitress brought Kate's salad. 

"Do you want some?"  
"Sure." 

She slid the bowl in the middle, both picking up forks. 

"It's okay if you don't know if you enjoyed it or if you didn't-"  
"I did." 

Gemma felt butterflies in her stomach.

"Oh, okay, well, I guess we should decide if we want to continue...this, or...not?"  
"Mhm, yeah, probably." 

Kate was more focused on the salad, putting her fork down and stealing one of Emily's apple slices and leaning back in her chair and looking out the window. Gemma knew that the younger woman was probably extremely self conflicted. When they found out about each others existence, they hated each other with a burning passion, and now they had acted upon a different passion. Gemma could see the wheels turning in Kate's mind, seeing Kate trying to pick out the right things to say without letting her guard down. Gemma could also recognize her thinking how gorgeous Kate looked, Gemma looking back down at the salad. 

"This is so f'd up."   
"I know."   
"Of all the people, I woke up next to you." Kate spat.   
"You could have told me to leave but you didn't and _you_ kissed _me_ and I had had more drinks than you so you can't blame it on that. You slid back into bed and _kissed my shoulder_ and went back to _spooning_ me."  
"Yeah. I know." Kate was pissed. Mainly, at her self. She had let her guard down and now she was dealing with the consequences. 

There was an odd tension. With a child present along with being in a public setting, they had to keep their voices low, calm and even. Gemma could sense that Kate was probably internally screaming. 

"Alright, let's take some time and think things over and when you're ready just let me know and we can talk things out or if you want we can just never see each other again and if we do then we'll act like we don't know each other." 

Kate felt a little stab when Gemma suggested never seeing each other again. She didn't know why. But right now, taking time to mull things over seemed good. Maybe it was just a hate sex phase thing like Tess suggested, maybe she was just missing Simon. Not to mention, she had been lonely, and hadn't had sex in ages, so maybe it was just because of that? 

"Yeah, time sounds good."   
"Okay," 

Gemma nodded and stood up, slipping on her coat and walking out. Kate nearly slapped herself in the face when she caught herself looking at Gemma's ass that looked fantastic in those black trousers that fit her perfectly. Time, both of them just needed time to clear their heads and breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

A week passed. Gemma thought about Kate everyday, all day. Kate found it annoying how often she thought of Gemma. Neither had spoken to one another, Gemma was giving Kate space to think. 

\---

"Have you talked to her since?"   
"No." 

Tess poured Kate a glass of wine, Kate getting Emily into her pajamas and into bed. She read her a quick story, Emily being tired from her day at nursery. Kate kissed her forehead, quietly closing the door and sitting on the couch next to Tess. 

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"   
"I-I think so." 

Kate took a long sip of her wine, trying to find some courage to say what she needed to say. 

"I...I liked it and I...I've thought about her everyday since and I don't think I can _not_ ignore her for the rest of my life. Especially because she lives near by and we go to the same market and I don't know, I guess maybe we should put up some boundaries?" 

Tess nodded along as she listened to Kate, eyes laser-focused. 

"Let's do another analysis,"  
"Yeah,"   
"Okay, what would you say is her most attractive feature?"   
"Mhm, I'm not going to say _those_ things, but on her face, probably her eyes,"   
"Why?"  
"They're...honest. With Simon, once I found out everything I realized how cold his eyes always looked, even when he looked at Tom, his own son, he seemed, bored if that makes sense?"  
"So you feel like she's being honest with you, and you feel like she actually cares about _your_ well being?"  
"Yeah, and when she looked at me at the bar it was like she was reading my mind, trying to truly understand me."   
"Do you see anything you saw in Simon in her, or something different?"   
"Simon was charming...he could make me feel good about myself, but I've realized that it was all temporary stuff and that none of it was of any substance, but with Gemma, she could tell that I had a shit night and she actually cared enough to try and make me feel better, there was no game, she just wanted me to come sit with her friends cause I felt like shit and they were funny. I guess she...I don't know, liked me for me? Not for my looks, or what I can do with my body or how much money my family has, she doesn't give a shit about that, she's just is interested in _me_."   
"Do you feel like she actually understands you?"   
"Yeah, I mean, we went through the same thing, only on different sides at first."   
"Do you want my honest opinion?"  
"Yes please."   
"I think that you two should see where this goes. Maybe it's true love, maybe you're looking for a rebound, maybe you're attracted to her because she's associated with a big part of your life, who knows? But for now, you both live near each other, you need a good shag every now and then, and she does too. It doesn't have to be anything serious, it can just be a late night 'u up' text every now and again."   
"Yeah." 

\---

Gemma got home from work a little bit late, having a nice dinner with Tom and relaxing on the couch while he played some video game. She scrolled through her phone, trying to unwind. It was just about 9, Gemma getting up to finish washing the dishes from dinner. She was rinsing a plate when her phone started ringing. Shit. Her blood pressure instantly rose. 

"Hi is everything alright?"   
"Yeah, it's just, my friend is having a surprise party tonight and I only just found out and my sitter is busy and-"  
"Hey, it's okay, bring her over,"   
"Really? Thanks so much, this is just a last minute thing and all of my friends are going to the party so there's no one else I can phone,"   
"It's fine, bring her over, please,"  
"Thanks."

Kate wasn't lying. Gemma was seriously the only person available, and Kate really had no other choice since the party was for a good friend of hers. Emily would probably just sleep, Kate just throwing an extra blanket, pillow and story, just in case, into a bag. She picked up Emily, who just yawned. She clacked down the pavement in her stilettos, Emily falling asleep with her head on Kate's shoulder. Her arms were starting to hurt but thankfully she opened the gate and marched up to Gemma's door. She rang the bell, Tom opening it. Gemma told Tom what was happening before they got there, Tom not really caring since he was going upstairs anyways. Kate walked in, Tom closing the door behind them and going upstairs. Gemma walked out of the kitchen. 

"Thanks so much again."   
"Don't worry about it, here," 

They stepped into the living room, Kate laying Emily onto the couch. 

"I'll be quick,"  
"What kind of party is it?"   
"It's a birthday, I forgot about it and the person who was planning it forgot to invite a lot of people so they called me tonight and it's a mess really,"   
"Stay out for as long as you'd like, I think I handle this," 

They were whispering, hoping to not wake up Emily, and for some reason it was increasing the sexual tension between them. 

"I couldn't ask you-"   
"Really, it's fine, I was just going to read a book. Stay out, have fun, you're young,"   
"Really?"   
"Really. Go enjoy yourself, get drunk, have a little fun, you deserve a night off. She can sleep over if you want, it's not a big deal,"   
"Thank you."   
"Seriously, come back late, have fun."

Gemma walked Kate out, but just as Kate stepped through the door frame, she stopped and turned around. She grabbed Gemma's hand and whispered 'thank you' before kissing her on the cheek. She didn't mean to, she was just being...polite. Gemma really saved her ass and she wanted to make sure she knew that she was grateful. That wasn't weird right?

Kate enjoyed herself at the party. For the first time in a while, she let herself relax a little bit. She was't going to at first, but then she got caught up with her friends and they all were drinking and dancing. Emily snuggled up to Gemma, laying her head on her lap, Gemma reading a book. She didn't even move Emily, she just sat on the opposite side of the couch and grabbed the murder mystery she'd recently taken up, Emily looking up for a second and crawling over to Gemma. Gemma didn't mind, Tom never hugged her anymore, and she missed him being little and thinking that she was the greatest person in the world. Kate still wasn't home and it was a little past 11 so Gemma went ahead and carried Emily upstairs, the only free bed being Gemma's. She figured she'd just go and sleep on the couch but Emily woke up and needed another story to go back to sleep so Gemma laid next to her, read a story and decided to just sleep there. Gemma had given Kate a key in case she got in late. So, Kate stumbled through the door around 1 AM, giggling as she kicked off her heels. She peeked into the living room, thinking that Gemma and Emily would be upstairs since it was so late. She went up the stairs, holding onto the railing for dear life. Luckily, the first bedroom she went in happened to be Gemma's. The light was soft since the bathroom light was still on. She found Gemma laying next to Emily, Emily all snuggled up to her. Kate felt a giant smile creep onto her face, Kate getting under the covers. She scooted closer, Emily in between them, her arm long enough to go across Emily and her hand to rest on Gemma's ass. 

\---

Kate woke up with a raging hangover. She rolled over in an empty bed, her face rolling into Emily's pink blanket. She got up, going down stairs and finding Emily sitting at the kitchen counter, Gemma filling up a water bottle and Tom getting on football socks. 

"We were going to let you sleep in, you got back really late. Tom has a game and I thought I'd just bring Emily along, let her run around a bit,"

Kate just nodded, not appreciating how bright the kitchen was, the sound of Gemma putting Emily's cereal bowl in the sink making Kate cringe. She walked over to Emily, kissing the top of her head, asking if she slept well. Emily said yeah, talking about how she was going to a football game. Kate just nodded, her daughters high pitched voice making her head pound.

"Aspirin, water, sleep."   
"Thanks...um, good luck with the game," 

Kate retreated back upstairs, taking the aspirin with some water and crawling back under the covers. 

\---

She woke up around noon, Gemma quietly closing a dresser drawer. Kate sat up, watching Gemma. 

"Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?"  
"No,"   
"Feeling any better?"   
"Yeah," 

Gemma sat at the bottom of the bed. 

"I was just putting away some laundry, Emily is down stairs watching some Disney movie,"   
"Thank you for looking after her,"   
"I don't mind, did you have fun last night?"   
"Yeah, I did, it was nice,"   
"Good. I heard you giggling when you came up the stairs,"   
"I'm a happy drunk most of the time. I'll get up and get out of your hair,"   
"No rush, we're not doing anything today really," 

They both sat there for a moment. 

"Last night, when you were leaving, you..."   
"Fuck, yeah, um, sorry-"  
"And then I woke up and you had your hand on my ass,"   
"Jesus-"

Kate put her head into one hand. 

"I didn't mind," 

She snapped her head up, quirking her eyebrow. 

"So? You want to um...do this?"   
"Whatever you're comfortable with," 

Kate nodded, leaning back into pillows and thinking about what she should say next. She was so lucky that Gemma was understanding, not pressuring her into anything. 

"Could we maybe...keep this quiet? Just until we're both sure?"   
"Absolutely, and it can just be sex or it can be more, whatever you want,"  
"Okay." 

Kate got up, picking up Emily's blanket and walking downstairs behind Gemma. Tom sat on the opposite end of the sectional, playing a game on his phone, Emily watching the Little Mermaid diligently. 

"Ready to go sweetpea?" 

Tom just looked up at Kate, quickly looking back down to his game. He didn't really like her. She was the woman that his father cheated on his mother with for years. Could you blame him for not liking her? Plus everyone in their old town said that Kate was a bitch and a slut. He didn't really understand why his mother was even acknowledging her existence, he would've been perfectly fine acting like he didn't know her if they should ever run into each other. He talked about it with his therapist, his therapist suggesting that although he might not be able to forgive Kate yet, he could at least be civil since his father hurt her too. He really didn't care for the woman, but was willingly to put up with her since she might be apart of his mothers 'healing process'. 

Gemma led them to the door, which was out of sight of the living room. Nevertheless, Kate knew better than to try anything funny when Tom was present, but what she didn't know is that Gemma was equally as smart. Gemma led them out, closing the door behind them, knowing that there was no way Tom would've seen them. Kate and Emily took one step and Kate turned around. She once again closed the space in between them, using one hand to cup Gemma's face, the other hand holding Emily's hand. It was a soft kiss, Gemma still being a little shocked at how soft Kate could be. It was as if she and Emily were the only people in the world that got to see her soft like this. She and Emily were the only people that Kate was comfortable around. Maybe it was because Gemma had seen her at her lowest points in life and the darkest parts of her were seen by Gemma. 

"So not just sex hmm?" 

Kate's jaw became clenched, looking down. 

"I like you when you're soft like this," 

And Kate _smiled_. It was a soft, small smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

"Can I...text you? Would that be weird? Or like calling you-"  
"No! Don't be ridiculous, of course you can, I'd love it," 

Kate gave an awkward smile that was similar to Kristen Stewart's smile. With Gemma, she became sort of shy. With Simon, she knew that she was hot shit, she knew that she had something that his wife didn't have. And even with other guys she's dated, there's never been this much... _foreplay_. With Gemma, it was more than sex and lust and passion. If anything, they were equals, Gemma making sure that Kate was completely comfortable. It was as if they both found a special kind of comfort with each other. Gemma liked Kate for Kate, and that was something that Kate had never really felt with someone, at least not 100%. And Kate thought that Gemma was sexy and she didn't think that she was broken. She didn't think that Gemma needed to be 'fixed' or 'taped back together', she liked Gemma, flaws and all, not really understanding her attraction. There was something about Gemma that just drew Kate in, wanting more, wanting to understand her and know all of her complexities. Neither of them could really explain it, but it just felt _right_ and there was no tension that was building up over the years, there was no revenge, it was just _happening_ whether they wanted it to or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

It was time to tell him. Their new life was built on trust, Tom understanding that it was just him and his mother now, and they'd have to look after one another. Gemma brought up Kate at dinner that night, Tom already sensing that something was off. 

"So you can probably tell that the...energy of this past month has been weird,"  
"Yeah," 

Tom wasn't really worried, he knew that whatever came up, he and his mother would sit down and find a solution, talking everything through. 

"I ran into Kate that day at the supermarket, and she was the one that asked me to dinner." 

Tom just nodded along, absorbing every word. 

"That night she apologized and I explained to her how your father also took advantage of her, and we talked through our differences. That night I went out for drinks with some girls from work, Kate was at the pub and she'd been stood up by some guy. So, trying to be friendly, I said come along and sit with us, have a laugh, and at the end of the night we walked out together. We sort of argued a little bit, she was wondering why I was being friendly and I explained everything we've worked on in therapy. And, she ended up kissing me." 

"Why'd she kiss you?" 

Tom looked mortified. 

"I don't know why."   
"...Did you...kiss her back?"   
"Yes." 

Tom leaned back in his chair, eyes staring at the table in front of him. He was really, really trying to not lash out and to instead take a deep breath and let him process. 

"So you weren't with your friend that drank too much, you were with....Kate?"  
"Yes."   
"Um. This is...a shock." 

He remembered to use his words to convey his emotion. He also remembered all the fucked up shit his father did, then thinking that maybe the women just found comfort in each other, similar to how he was in group therapy. 

"Do you both find...comfort in each other? Or is it just sex?"   
"We find comfort in each other, we've been through the same thing and we find comfort in each other, yes."   
"So is it a relationship or something?"   
"We've been taking it slow, thinking things over, we want to do what's best for you and Emily and we want everyone to be comfortable, but if you're not comfortable then we can stop and reconsider everything,"   
"Does she make you happy or at least, I don't know,"   
"She does make me happy, it's nice to be single for a little bit but at the end of the day we're all human,"   
"Yeah..."  
"So what do you think?"   
"It's weird, and I don't understand it, but I guess you both need this? You guys aren't hurting anyone, and you're comforting each other in a weird way, so I guess okay?"   
"Is it okay? I know it must be difficult, but I don't know, maybe this could be good? I know I get annoying sometimes and Emily is your half sister,"   
"So you two are serious?"   
"I think so,"   
"Okay."   
"Okay?"   
"Just keep the sappy shit to a minimum please?"   
"No problem," 

Tom still didn't like Kate, and if anything, he now didn't like her a little bit more. But, his mother was all smiley and shit when she talked about her so he figured he'd put up with it if it meant his mother would have her own little bit of happiness. 

\---

_I told Tom_

_omfg what?!_

_I had to_

Kate was lying in bed, about to turn in for the night, when Gemma texted her. She felt like she was going to throw up when she read the text. When Gemma texted that she had to, she started cursing those damn therapists that scream honesty is the best policy. Kate leaned back on the pillows, letting herself think. They'd have to tell Tom eventually, he would've suspected something was up. It was probably better that Gemma sat him down and told him in a controlled environment. She felt a lump in her throat. They were doing this. They were actually going to do this. They had sex one time and now they've decided to be in a relationship, if you could call it that. 

_so are we in a relationship?_

_I thought that's what you wanted?_

Gemma didn't want to deal with a giant question mark. She spent so much time in a relationship that meant nothing and then being single. She didn't want to play any games. She wanted yes or no, and it was a little bit frustrating how hot and cold Kate was. Kate initiated it, she could be a big girl and use her words. 

_I don't really know what I want,_

_Well you're an adult so figure it out and come find me once you do._

_I want you._

_That's not good enough, I need structure and boundaries and stability_

Kate sat back and thought. She was trying to find the best words to say. 

_Can't you see that I'm trying my best? Do you know how fucked up this is? Sorry if it's hard to wrap my head around this_

Gemma sighed. Kate was right. 

_I know, and don't act like this isn't weird for me too. It's gonna be hard and take time_

_i know but I'll do it because i need you_

Gemma smiled. Kate _needed her_. Kate _trusted_ Gemma. 

_We should probably set some clear guidelines for us then_

_Okay do you want to meet up after work or something_

_sure_

\---

The meeting didn't go as planned. They once again found themselves rushing to Kate's flat, paying the sitter as quickly as possible and then stumbling onto Kate's bed. They really tried to talk about boundaries, but it'd been two weeks since they fucked and they just couldn't focus. When either of them tried to talk or be serious, the others eyes would drift to the others lips or chest. In the morning, Kate woke up first, throwing on a spaghetti strap tank top, checking on Emily and getting her situated so that she could go back to bed for a little bit. She slid under the covers, scooting up behind Gemma, but then Gemma rolled over, Kate opening her arms for Gemma to be pulled into her front. Kate pressed a kiss to her forehead, Gemma pulling Kate closer. 

"Sleep well?"   
"Mhm" 

They just held each other, breathing each other in. Kate thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to talk. 

"How do you feel about PDA? And by that I mean, public displays of affection in front of the kids"  
"Emily won't care, but around Tom we should keep it to a minimum" 

Gemma mumbled, still tired and trying to fall back asleep. 

"Do you like it? The PDA stuff?"  
"Yeah I do, sometimes I can get insecure and stuff like that really helps me feel better"  
"Good, I get like that a lot, it really helps me too,"

It was no surprise that Simon fucked them up. Simon made them both feel worthless. He made them feel like shit and made them wonder what it was about themselves that wasn't good enough. To now be together and know that the other thinks that they're enough was a great feeling. The sex was probably the most comforting part. Simon was aggressive and was selfish. But when Kate and Gemma were together, it was gentle and loving and uplifting. It was _enjoyable_ and they didn't wake up feeling like shit. During sex, Kate and Gemma were perfect, both being able to meet each others needs. 

"You get insecure?"  
"Yeah. I used to think that I was untouchable and then everything came crashing down, but now you're mine"   
"Mhmm I'm yours?"   
"I'm spoiled, I've always gotten what I want," 

Kate rolled Gemma onto her back, straddling her waist. 

"I'm what you want?"   
"Mhmm," Kate mumbled as she leaned down and kissed Gemma's neck.   
"Did you feel this way with Simon?"   
"No. Not even close."   
"I don't think people see the real you."   
"Hmmm?" 

Gemma tried to focus on getting her message out but it was hard when Kate was leaving all those kisses on her neck and sucking on her pulse point. 

"You have a lot of defenses up and you've never had a track record for being the nicest, but now you're softening up" 

Kate smiled. She really didn't mean to be a bitch, but sometimes she was. People liked Gemma, patients saying how great she is, neighbors saying how nice she is. People didn't like Kate. They thought she was a spoiled brat, Kate being branded as a 'mean girl' growing up. It meant a lot that Gemma didn't think that she was mean girl, to Gemma she was just Kate. 

"Maybe I am," 

Gemma rolled Kate off. 

"I got to get to work and Emily needs to go to nursery."   
"I like it when you're bossy,"   
"I like it when you get up and become a functioning adult" 

Kate pulled her back by the wrist for a kiss, Gemma giving in but then getting up from the bed and slipping on her clothes. 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

_6 months later_

Gemma met Tom at the gym, Tom already getting started with the free weights. Kate and Gemma had been together for 6 months, still madly in love with one another. Kate mentioned her lease was about to expire, Gemma suggesting that she and Emily come live with her and Tom. They had a guest bedroom, Gemma using it as an office, the room being empty for the most part. She had talked it over with Tom first, Tom saying that he didn't really care. He hadn't exactly warmed up to Kate, but made an effort since Emily was related to him and for the sake of his mum. 

"Are you sure you're okay with them moving in?"   
"Yeah."   
"If you're not it's absolutely fine, we can make other arrangements-"  
"Mum, it's fine, really," 

Gemma pursed her lips together, letting them workout in silence. 

\---

Kate set the suitcase onto Gemma's bed, everything was finally moved in. She and Emily didn't have much-she'd sold most of the furniture she'd bought with Simon. Gemma was still at work, Emily sitting at the kitchen table coloring, Tom hanging out in his room. He'd left the door open; Kate choosing to see it as progress. She didn't really care if he liked her, but she did feel bad about his fucked up dad and felt bad that she was now fucking his mother. She was folding her jeans and putting them into a drawer when she heard quiet, muffled sniffles. She stopped, looking up and leaning back to peek her head out of the door. She quietly took two steps down the stairs, just enough to see Emily at the table happily coloring in a sun she drew. She slowly tip toed to Tom's room, the door closed enough so he wouldn't see her. She debated whether or not to give him privacy but when he practically started hyperventilating she intervened. 

"Tom you alright?"   
"Yep." He choked out. 

She could tell that he obviously wasn't, so she took a step into his room. He was sitting on his bed having a panic attack, desperately trying to regulate his breathing. 

"Should I call Gemma-"  
"No." 

She noticed that he was embarrassed, so she silently sat down next to him. She had experienced a couple of panic attacks following her split from Simon. She rubbed his back as his breathing started to settle after a few minutes, Tom taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He had his head in his hands, the shaking starting to subside. 

"Better?" 

Tom nodded, Kate pulling her hand back. She stood up, going back to her and Gemma's room, putting clothes on hangers. Tom was glad that she didn't make a big deal out of it, allowing him to let it pass and trying her best to comfort him. Kate decided to let Tom tell Gemma if he wanted to, she wanted to make sure that he could at least trust her even if he didn't like her. 

\---

Gemma got home, putting her purse on the small table by the door, kicking off the flats she was wearing. She walked into the kitchen to see Emily coloring, Emily popping her head up and waving as she said hi. 

"What are you drawing hmm?" 

She stood behind Emily to see a park colored with a sun that had a smiley face. 

"That's fantastic," 

Emily held up the paper, proud of her work, Gemma picking it up and putting it on the fridge. Emily climbed down the chair, running off to the living room to play. Kate came down the stairs, turning into the kitchen. Gemma was turning on the kettle for some tea, Kate coming up behind her, wrapping her arms around Gemma's waist and putting her head on her shoulder. 

"How was work?"   
"Not bad, how was your day?"   
"Fine," 

Gemma turned around, her arms going up around Kate's neck. 

"Tom home?"   
"Upstairs sleeping I think,"  
"All teenagers do,"   
"Pretty much." 

Gemma raised her chin for a kiss, Kate smiling. How was it that Kate always smelled so good? She started getting carried away, Kate pulling back. 

"My parents are coming next month,"   
"Okay, do they know about-"   
"A little, I told them that I'm seeing a girl and _that she's gorgeous_ " 

Kate said while placing a kiss on Gemma's jaw, trying to distract. 

"Thank you, but seriously,"   
"I told them that me and you were getting on, that we make each other better,"   
"But do they know that you're living with me and sleeping next to me naked?"  
"I said that we sleep in the same bed if that counts?"   
"So you're letting them connect the dots?"   
"Pretty much. They should know by now that I don't pick conventional relationships."   
"You certainly don't." 

Gemma pulled away to take out the tea biscuits, Kate leaning against the counter with her arms folded across her chest. 

"They're going to get a hotel and they want to see us for dinner,"   
"Define us,"   
"Me, you, Emily, Tom can come along," 

Gemma didn't reply, she was too busy calculating everything that could go wrong. Kate sensed this, turning Gemma around and rubbing her upper arms. 

"Don't stress, it'll be fine, they just want me to be happy, and I'm _very_ happy when I'm with you." 

Gemma gave a weak smile, trying to not let the negative voice in her head get the best of her. 

"They know that you're not a crook and they know that you make me extremely happy. It's going to be fine, please don't worry, I hate it to see you stressed," 

Kate tried to reassure Gemma with soft little kisses all over her face. She kissed her temple, pulling her into a hug. She really knew how to make Gemma feel better. Gemma let Kate hold her for a moment, Kate being pulled away by Emily calling for her. Gemma went upstairs to change, popping her head into Toms room. 

"How was school?" 

He shrugged his shoulders, not turning away from his homework. Gemma didn't think much of it, going to her room and slipping out of the slacks and blouse she wore to work. She went back downstairs and curled up on the couch next to Kate, Emily sitting on the floor organizing her dolls clothes. 

"Want to just get Indian takeaway tonight?"   
"Sure," 

Kate switched the channel to the news, moving her legs out from under her and leaning against Gemma. Gemma put her arm on the back of the couch, her fingers running through Kate's hair. This seemed to be their little routine now, both finding this to be a relaxing way to unwind from the day. Tom came down eventually, sitting on the opposite couch, scrolling through his phone. 

"Indian takeaway?"   
"Can I pick it up?"   
"Yeah," 

Tom liked going to run little errands, he liked getting out of the house for a little bit. Kate called it in, Tom heading out a little bit later to pick it up. Emily was so entertained by her toys, Gemma got an idea. She whispered to Kate. 

"We have at least 10 minutes." 

Kate looked to Gemma, a smirk forming on her face. 

"Honey, we're going to go do the laundry, if you need anything just knock on our door alright?" 

Emily shrugged, not really caring. Gemma and Kate got up, calmly leaving the room but then rushing upstairs like horny teenagers. Gemma slapped Kate's ass as they both went up the stairs, Kate closing their bedroom door after Gemma came in. They started ripping off their clothes, Kate deciding that she was going to have Gemma up against the door. Luckily for them, the takeaway wasn't ready yet, Tom having to wait around for it. By the time he got home Kate was setting the table, Gemma pouring out drinks for everyone. He didn't suspect a thing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think or if there's anything you guys want to see!!! x

Kate had woken up crying. It was the quiet kind, tears streaming down her face, a few choked sniffles but nothing more. She was _really_ hoping that Gemma wouldn't wake up but she did. Gemma knew that Kate suffered from panic attacks and the works, but Kate still felt like shit when Gemma would see her like this. Kate was laying on her back, hands up wiping away the tears that didn't stop coming, Gemma stirring beside her. It was weird, but Gemma could always sense when Kate was upset. She rolled over, propping herself up on her elbow, seeing the younger woman trying to cover up any signs of distress. 

"Hey, you alright?"   
"I'm fine." 

She knew that Kate wasn't the type of person to talk about her feelings, she preferred to cover them up and deal with them in private. She found that it was better to not interrogate her, Gemma instead scooting closer and running her hand along her body. She talked with her therapist about her and Kate, her and the therapist coming to the conclusion that when Kate was upset the best thing to do was to quietly love since Kate became very insecure since Simon. She placed a soft kiss on Kate's bare collarbone, resting her head there and looking down at the end of the bed. Kate couldn't stop herself from letting out a little whimper, her hand shooting up to her mouth, Gemma realizing that tonight was a really bad night. She lifted her head, crawling on top of Kate. She moved Kate's arms to her sides, awkwardly reaching back to place Kate's hands on top of her ass. Kate turned her face to the window, Gemma turning her face back to face her, holding her face in her hands. She got to work placing soft, gentle kisses all over her face, wiping away the tears as she went. She whispered sweet little nothings to Kate, Kate accepting the affection and closing her eyes, the tears beginning to subside. 

"It's all so fucked up."   
"I know." 

Gemma felt Kate beginning to rub little circles on her ass; a sign that she was beginning to calm down. Even though it was uncomfortably warm having Gemma lay on top of her, Kate needed the physical contact, and especially needed Gemma's little reassurances that she was a good person and a great mum. Kate eventually moved Gemma off of her, they were now spooning, Kate being the big spoon. Gemma scooted back into her, Kate shamelessly moving her arm so that she could have a hand on Gemma's boob. 

"Cheeky tonight?" 

Kate let out a small laugh, squeezing a little bit. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Gemma also found the highest success rates for getting Kate to talk about her feelings when they were in this position. She would let Kate get a little head start by letting her touch her boob, rewarding Kate by turning onto her back and letting Kate have at both if she talked. 

"What if Simon finds out?" 

Oh shit. Gemma got thrown off, not knowing what an appropriate response to that question. 

"Um, I haven't really thought about it, we already have full custody of the kids and we have restraining orders in place." 

Gemma rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling, searching for answers. Kate distracted herself by moving her mouth down to Gemma's chest, avoiding the problem with sex. After a minute of not finding the answer written on the ceiling, Gemma moved her hand into Kate's blonde hair, massaging her head as Kate was busy with her chest. 

"I don't think it's something we have to worry about. The last I heard of him he was a depressed drunk that lives on dating apps." 

Kate gave a weak smile, looking at Gemma. She found her hand, rubbing the back of Gemma's hand with her thumb.

"I really want this. Us." 

Gemma smiled, kissing Kate. 

"We're going to be okay, I promise." 

\---

Gemma sat in between Kate and Emily, Tom playing Tic-Tac-Toe with Emily. Kate was fumbling with her napkin, her foot tapping. They were sitting a half-circle booth, two chairs sitting on the other side of the round table. Gemma put her hand on Kate's thigh, giving it a light squeeze, trying to calm the blonde down. When Kate's parents got close to the table, Emily climbed over Tom and hugged them, Kate's father picking her up into the air. Kate awkwardly hugged her parents, sitting down and taking a sip of her wine. She was definitely nervous. They sat down, saying hi to Tom and Gemma, both awkwardly smiling. Thankfully, Kate's parents knew how nervous everyone was, making small talk. 

"Tom, how's school?"   
"Good."   
"Getting high marks?"   
"Yeah."   
"Still a fan of football?"   
"Yes." 

Kate's father used that as an opportunity to talk about football with Tom; a neutral, general subject. Kate's mother talked to Kate first, Kate relaxing a little bit. But when Kate's mother turned her attention to Gemma, Kate stiffened, putting her hand under the table and finding Gemma's. Gemma made decent small talk, making jokes when appropriate, nodding and listening attentively. Kate watched them talk, waiting at any moment for chaos. She nervously rubbed the back of Gemma's hand, more so to relax herself, thankful that the waiter had come over with their food. 

"So you all are living under one roof?"   
"Yes." 

Tom avoided engaging in the conversation, instead keeping his focus on his food in front of him. Kate nearly choked on her salad when Gemma gave that confident yes, looking at parents for their reactions. They just made a 'hm' sound, going back to eating their food. 

"How many bedrooms?"   
"Three."  
"Lovely." 

Tom looked up at this, knowing that the number three meant that Kate and Gemma were most likely sharing a bedroom, wanting to see if Kate's parents would make a face at this. 

"She's clingy when she sleeps isn't she? Growing up, she'd come in when she'd have a bad dream and she cling onto me like her life depended on it," 

Kate's father said with a laugh, the entire table relaxing. 

"Yeah, she's like a koala, but whenever I'm not there she's on the very edge about to roll off," 

Tom wanted to gag at the thought of Kate and his mother snuggling up in bed together, taking a big sip of his coke. Emily perked up at the mention of koalas, exclaiming that she loved them, her grandparents ready to go out and buy her everything that had a koala on it. Thank god a small child was with them to distract. The rest of dinner was routine, the usual small talk, Kate's father paying the bill. Gemma protested, insisting she put it on her card, Kate's father flagging down the waiter and handing him his card before Gemma could hand hers. They walked Kate's parents back to their hotel, Kate stopping to run into a shop and get ice cream with the kids; leaving Gemma waiting outside with the parents. 

"We're glad you make her happy."   
"She makes me really happy."   
"And you have your own money so we know you aren't with her for that." 

Gemma just nodded at this, all three of them looking into the shop window at Kate handing Emily a little ice cream sample. 

"We like you better than Simon but don't think we aren't keeping an eye on you,"   
"I know. I would do the same if I were you."   
"Don't hurt each other, you've both been through enough." 

Gemma nodded at this too, knowing that Kate's parents would always have their guard up after Simon, but also smiling at the fact that they liked her better than Simon. Kate and the kids came out, all with cones in their hands. Kate thought she was being discreet when she let Gemma have a taste, Gemma getting a little bit of the ice cream on her upper lip, Kate giggling and kissing it off, but then turning to find her mother shoot her a raised eyebrow. Kate's face went back to being stone cold, clearing her throat and taking Gemma's hand. They continued to walk to the hotel, Kate trying her best to not bump into people while she tried to eat the ice cream in one hand, the other hand holding Gemma's. They walked into the lobby, everyone saying goodbye, Kate's parents whispering to Kate 'be careful'. Kate nodded, turning around and finding Gemma standing with a sleepy Emily on her hip, Tom standing next to them with his hands in his pockets. It certainly wasn't the life she imagined for herself, but it was perfect. 

\---

"Do you think it went fine?"   
"Yeah, they loved you."   
"Haha. Very funny."   
"What? They see how happy you make me, that's all they care about." 

Kate climbed under the covers, Gemma taking out her dangling earrings in the bathroom, then slipping in beside her. She scooted in, then seeing that Kate wasn't wearing clothes. 

"What the hell?" 

Kate just scooted close, a giant smirk on her face. Gemma started laughing, Kate getting on top, starting to grind her hips down. 

"You're unbelievable!"   
"I'm extraordinary."   
"Mhm, you are. But aren't you tired from today?"   
"Today was successful and now I want to celebrate." 

Gemma laughed, Kate moving down to kiss her neck, fumbling with the bottom of Gemma's tank top. Gemma lifted herself up just enough for Kate to wrangle it over her head, throwing it to the opposite side of the room. 

"I wouldn't call it a success, but it did go better than I expected."   
"They don't hate you and my mum texted me that you were lovely."   
"Really?" 

Kate started getting fussy with all the talking Gemma wanted to do. She took her hands off of Gemma's exposed breasts, putting them on the headboard to steady herself. 

"Yes. She said that you were lovely and said that her and dad think that you're good for me and Emily." 

Kate stated, moving to turn off the lamp beside Gemma. 

"I'm so glad, I was worried that they wouldn't approve or-"   
"Babe, less talking."   
"Sorry." 

Kate laughed, Gemma making effort to restore what Kate was doing, moving Kate's hands back to her breasts. 

\---

Everyone but Gemma got sick in November with a variation of the flu. Gemma was convinced that Emily brought it home from nursery, Tom then catching it and then Kate. Kate kept on stating how unfair it was that Gemma had a freakishly strong immune system, a little bit pissed off. Gemma used her vacation days that had to be used anyways, staying home to make tea and distribute medicine to everyone. Kate took advantage of Gemma's care taker qualities, insisting that some head would make her feel better. Gemma rolled her eyes as Kate put on puppy eyes, her lip pouting. She agreed, not being able to say no to that face, Kate coming once and then passing out from exhaustion. Gemma laughed, making a mental note to use this against her later, cleaning her up and then tucking her into bed. Gemma went into work one day, there was a meeting she couldn't miss, leaving Kate in their bed with Emily beside her, the two watching a kids movie, a bin filled with tissues at the side of the bed. Tom was trying to act like he wasn't sick, keeping his bedroom door closed at all times and whenever Gemma asked him if he was feeling better he would just reply with a 'i'm fine.' He got up around noon, microwaving the three breakfast plates Gemma had left them, taking it upstairs to eat along with the medicine Gemma left out with the times of when everyone was to take it. He felt so shitty he didn't even have the willpower to just say 'food downstairs'. He really wasn't up for being salty today. He walked in, handing Kate the medicine and the plates that he managed to balance on his arm. 

"Mum left a note saying for Emily to take this now, this for you in an hour."   
"Thanks." 

He started walking out, but was stopped. 

"Tommy," 

He turned around at Emily calling him the nickname that he only allowed her to call him; he and Emily had grown a little close. He felt bad that she was sick too, her little voice that was usually squeaky now hoarse because of the sore throat. 

"What?" 

She patted the spot next to her, Tom not even looking to Kate for permission, walking and climbing in next to her. He felt a little ridiculous, knowing that the four year old held that much power over him. Emily sat up, all three of them now sitting up and quietly eating the breakfast Gemma made for them, packed together since the bed wasn't that big. Emily even extended her pink princess blanket to cover Tom, tucking him in and smiling, Tom not having the energy to protest. Tom had planned to go after the movie ended, but then Gemma snuck into the house during her lunch break, trying to be quiet in case anyone was sleeping. She walked into her bedroom, finding all three of them there all snuggled up, Gemma freezing. They all had dozed off, Emily laying with her head on Tom's chest, Kate with her arm reached out, touching Tom's head. Gemma scrambled and got her phone out, getting picture. She knew this was the only time she'd ever see Tom and Kate in the same room not having an awkward stand-off. She looked at the sight before her for a moment, smiling, the sight warming her heart. She looked down at her watch. Shit, she really needed to hurry. She wrote on a post it 'my little family is adorable, x' and stuck it on Kate's nightstand, quietly going back down stairs and out of the house. Kate woke up about 15 minutes later, seeing Tom and Emily cuddled up together, fast asleep. She just smiled, shifting so she could get comfortable. She turned her head and reached for her glass of water, seeing the post it note. She smiled at it, quietly sliding opening her nightstand drawer and putting the note inside for safe keeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think or if there's anything you guys want to see!!! I love reading you guys' comments x


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back! I loved reading all of you guys' comments while I was away and it was so great reading them and seeing how excited everyone was and how much everyone wanted me to update so you guys really owe it to yourselves for motivating me which I think everyone needs every once and while. Thanks for all the support!! 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think/want to read next!! x

_**December** _

It was early December. Kate had already decorated the house herself, having Emily and Tom help, waiting to get the tree when Gemma could join them. Gemma felt bad that her work always got busy around the holidays, but there was something extra special about coming home to Christmas decorations and everyone watching a Christmas movie, waiting for her to get home. Gemma was a little bit worried when she and Tom moved here. She was worried that with her having no family and Simon and his family being cut off now that it'd be a little bit sad. She felt bad that it would probably just be her and Tom opening presents, just her and Tom at Christmas dinner. She was prepared to make her best effort to make it a nice Christmas, but she was worried that this Christmas would be depressing compared to the other Christmases they'd had. But now with Kate and Emily living with them, she couldn't be more excited. She and Kate liked seeing Tom introduce Emily to all of his favorite Christmas traditions, like the snowman cookie jar that they'd fill with the sugar cookies they'd make. Kate was worried about Christmas too, knowing that even though she'd probably be with her parents that she'd still feel the sting of Emily not having both of her parents there. Emily had Christmases with both parents, but didn't really remember them. But now with Gemma and Tom, she and Emily got to do all of the normal Christmas stuff that she'd done with her parents. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. Kate's parents were planning on coming for Christmas and New Year's, already booking a hotel that was nearby. Both Kate and Gemma talked about how nice it'd be to have a full house for the holidays, both expressing their worries they both had when they had separated from Simon. They wanted everything for their children, they wanted to give them the childhood they both deserved, including all the holidays and birthdays. But now that they were all together, they both felt that they could make that possible for Tom and Emily, even if Tom only had a few more years of it. 

Kate pulled into the little car-park in front of the house, putting the car in park and popping the boot. Tom went ahead and grabbed a few bags out the boot, taking his house keys out of his pocket and opening the door, leaving it open for Kate. She took a few bags as well, following Tom, the two of them then turning around to now grab the groceries. 

Gemma had suggested them going Christmas shopping together, Kate just picking up whatever Tom wanted so that Kate wouldn't have to awkwardly guess at what he wanted, Gemma saying to Tom that he could help Kate not go overboard with buying presents. Plus, it was a good activity for them to do just the two of them. Both Kate and Tom found it odd how the awkwardness of shopping together went away after half an hour, both falling into commenting on what objects they liked and then finding small talk to go along with it. Kate even helped Tom indulge a little bit and get those new football boots, Tom insisting that they were too expensive and that he didn't really need them, Kate already flagging down an employee to get some in his size. She saw how excited he was when he saw them in the store, he thought they'd have sold out by now, and she knew that this was the peace offering she'd been looking for. Not that she had needed one, she and Tom were civil, but she still felt like an impostor around him, feeling guilty for crashing into his life twice now. Tom was nice, but he wasn't going to kiss up to Kate, she knew what he thought of her. There wasn't really any bullshit, both silently acknowledging how fucked up the circumstances looked, both staying out of each others way and respecting one another. 

Tom stood as Kate handed him the bags of groceries, Tom saying "I can take one more". Tom turned once he heard Kate slam the boot shut, beginning to walk in the house when he heard someone shout his name. Both of them stopped and turned to see Simon crossing the street. Both froze. Simon was obviously drunk, his polo shirt not buttoned at the top, his leather shoes scuffed. His beard had grown out a bit, mainly from not being kept, but on top it looked like he got a haircut that was cut too short. Kate and Tom immediately started to panic, everyone had restraining orders against him, and no one had told him where Tom and Gemma had moved to. 

"My best mate, my darling son," 

He crashed into the gate, grabbing onto it for support, barely even making it over the curb as he wobbled towards them. Apparently he hadn't seen Kate yet, who took a step back, her body leaning up against the car. Tom was still frozen, debating in his head whether or not to call the police or to tell his father to fuck off. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I'm here to see my only son! Don't you miss your father?!" 

Tom didn't respond, Kate piping up. 

"Simon you need to leave." 

Simon turned and saw Kate, a wave of confusion washing over his face. 

"What the hell are you doing here?!" 

"Dad, you need to leave." 

Tom had set the bags onto the front steps, walking down them. Simon started fiddling with the gate, Tom rushing over before he could get anywhere. 

"Leave us alone you drunk piece of shit," 

Tom shoved Simon off of the gate, Simon stumbling back. Kate thought that Tom had a handle on the situation, thinking that Simon would fuck off, Kate beginning to quietly make her way towards the house. 

"Where are you going you fucking slut? You fucking live here now?! Are you trying to fuck the son now too?!" 

"Simon, please just leave, we'll call the police-"

"No! I have a right to see my son even if he's living with a whore that lives off of daddy's money-" 

Before Simon could finish his statement, he was on the ground. Tom just stood there, now holding his right hand, a few tears escaping from his eyes. He quickly wiped them off with his good hand, Kate rushing over. He really punched him. And he punched him _hard_. Damn, those boxing classes were good. Tom wanted to go out the gate and just kick his dad. He really just wanted to beat the shit out of him for being such a fucking loser. But Tom knew better, instead taking several deep breaths and staying still. Simon was out cold on the pavement with a bloody nose. Kate pulled out her phone and called the police, the police showing up about fifteen minutes later. Tom and Kate were sat on the steps now, Tom icing his hand. He noticed Kate's eyes tearing up, Tom getting up and bringing back a box of tissues. 

"Thanks." 

He just nodded, looking at his fathers unconscious body. It sucked, but he had to do it. He didn't want to, but he gave Simon plenty of chances to walk away. When the police arrived, Kate explained how they had multiple restraining orders against Simon, the policemen wiping up his bloody nose and getting him into the car, then turning to write up a report. 

"Don't worry, they'll probably give him stricter restraining orders, and I wouldn't be surprised if they book him for other things." 

"What kind of other things?" 

"Looks like he's got a few driving infractions along with a warning for trespassing. He shouldn't be a problem anymore, sorry you both had to deal with him." 

The police officers drove off, Kate and Tom shuffling back in. Tom sat at the counter, Kate trying to make tea to give her something to do with her hands. 

"I can't believe you...did that," 

"I didn't want to." 

"I know you didn't." 

She poured the boiling water into two mugs, bringing them over to Tom and sitting on the stool next to him. 

"We have to tell your mom." 

"I know." 

"Okay. Well, I'll handle that, and don't worry about getting into any trouble," 

"I wasn't really." 

"Oh, okay, sorry. Um, is your um hand feeling better at least?" 

"A little." 

"Good." 

Tom took his tea in his non-injured hand, making his way up to his room. He really just wanted to be alone right now. He did just punch his father and had to stop himself from beating the shit out of him for Christ's sake. Kate watched him walk out of the kitchen, then slouching forward and putting her head in her hands. She just wanted to scream. She should've known that something bad was going to happen soon, everything had been so perfect. Well, not totally perfect. She was finally going to finish school at the end of this semester but hadn't found any luck with finding a full time permanent job. And she loved Gemma, she really did, but sometimes it really made her feel like shit when she'd have a bad interview and then she'd come home to her girlfriend, who was a _doctor_ , talking on the phone to someone about smart doctor things . In some ways she felt inferior to Gemma, in most ways she felt like she didn't deserve Gemma. For the most part, she'd just swept it under the rug, not wanting to rock the boat. What she and Gemma had was good, great, and she didn't want to risk it. Emily was already settled into living with Gemma and Tom and the last thing Kate wanted to do was sound like a spoiled brat and complain that she felt inferior when Gemma did nothing to suggest that she was. Sure, she and Gemma had their little petty arguments, but Gemma took care of Kate and Emily. She really treated them like they were her world, and she didn't want to sound like she was ungrateful. She collected her thoughts, taking a deep breath and looking at the clock. Gemma would probably be picking up Emily from nursery soon. She stood up, unpacking the groceries they'd bought earlier, starting on dinner. She planned on telling Gemma after they got Emily to bed, telling her in a calm, controlled environment. Their number one family rule was honesty and technically she was just delaying the truth. 

\---

Gemma picked up Emily, Emily swinging their arms as they held hands and walked down the street, telling Gemma everything she did at nursery. Gemma just smiled and made dramatic expressions, the little girl giggling at how excited Gemma was for her when she said that they'd done some finger painting and she was going to bring it home tomorrow. Emily opened the gate, running up to the door. Gemma smiled, closing the gate and unlocking the door. Kate was in the kitchen making dinner, Emily running into the kitchen and being scooped into her mothers arms, then giving the same detailed briefing of what she did at nursery. Kate set her on the counter as she continued to chop up vegetables, giving Emily a tiny piece of carrot. Gemma walked in, having given Emily and Kate a moment as she tidied up the shoes by the door. She set her purse down on a stool, Kate looking up and giving a forced smile. She looked worried. Gemma decided that she question it later, getting herself a glass of water and pecking Kate on the cheek as she walked by. She sets the glass on the counter, leaning and watching Kate cut up vegetables, Emily then asking to be put down so she can go play. Gemma lifted her up and down, Emily running off to her doll house that needed her attention. Gemma peeked into the living room not seeing Tom. Oh god. She immediately started worrying that he and Kate got into a fight and that's why Kate gave a forced smile with a look of worry. She turned and went up the stairs enough to see Tom's door was shut but had the light on inside. She went back down the stairs, back to the kitchen, Kate not looking up from the pot she stirred on the stove. Gemma moved back to her glass of water, pulling a stool out and sitting. 

"How was your day?" 

"Fine." 

Kate awkwardly looked back at Gemma and gave another forced smile, quickly turning back to the stove as if she was cooking some elaborate meal. Something was definitely up. 

"Did anything happen?" 

"What?! No! It was a perfectly normal day, very normal." 

Kate turned back around now, moving some vegetables to one side of the cutting board and wiping her hand on a tea towel. 

"What's wrong with you? Did you have a lot of coffee today or something?" 

"No! No, no, no. Today has been interesting, that's all. But very normal." 

Gemma just raised her eyebrows, taking a sip of her water. Kate rounded the counter, walking up behind Gemma. She draped her long arms down around Gemma, Gemma leaning back into her front. She leaned down and kissed the top of Gemma's head. 

"I'm sorry i'm being weird, something did happen, but I want to tell you after we get Emily to bed." 

Gemma quickly turned around in her stool at that, looking up at Kate with big, worried eyes. 

"Is everything alright? What happened?" 

"Everything's fine, everyone's fine, I took care of it, we're fine." 

"What do you mean 'we're fine' did someone get hurt? Did Tom get hurt?" 

"No! Don't worry, just, something happened and I'll tell you when we get Emily to bed, I took care of everything. Please don't worry baby, everything's okay, I promise." 

"I'm going to be freaking out for the rest of the night." 

"I know, I tried to put it off but you're whole 'honesty is the best policy' has rubbed off on me." 

Before Gemma could respond, Kate pulled her into her front, her hand on the brunettes head. 

"Everything's okay, please don't stress." 

Gemma pulled back, looking up at Kate. Kate just tried to give her best reassuring smile, leaning down and kissing Gemma's forehead, going back to the stove. Dinner was ready a little bit later, Gemma shouting dinner, the two kids coming into the kitchen. It was a normal dinner, but Gemma did notice that Tom was off. 

"Tom everything alright?" 

"Yeah, everything's great." 

He gave a genuine smile, Gemma redirecting her focus back to her food, not thinking anything of it. The entire dinner she just kept on looking at the clock slowly creep towards Emily's bedtime. They all watched some TV in the living room, Tom playing with Emily, Gemma curled into Kate's side. When it was finally Emily's bedtime, she rushed her and Kate upstairs, doing bath-time while Kate folded some laundry. They both tucked her in, Gemma reading a story, Kate sitting with Emily in her lap as she brushed through her blonde curls. Gemma and Kate loved this part of their day. Being parents to their little girl. And yes, they both considered Emily to be _their_ little girl. Gemma was already definitely more involved than Simon ever was. Simon was always making excuses, coming home late from work, always making an excuse to not help with the bedtime routine. Gemma was anxiously then going back down the stairs, Kate following. Tom was already grabbing his charger, walking out of the living room and heading up to his room. Gemma kissed his cheek as he walked by, despite his best efforts to dodge it. Gemma sat on the edge of her seat, Kate quietly shutting the door to the living room. She walked over to Gemma and sat on the coffee table, directly in front of Gemma. She rubbed her palms on her jeans, then taking a deep breath and looking up at Gemma who was anxiously fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. She took a second to collect her thoughts, choosing what she was going to say very carefully. She decided to try and calm both of their nerves, leaning forward and kissing Gemma softly, finding her hands and taking them in hers. She leaned back and squeezed Gemma's hands, taking another deep breath. 

"Today, when me and Tom got back, we came back out to the car to bring in the last of the bags. Someone shouted Tom's name, and when we turned around, Simon was there and was drunk." 

Gemma immediately tensed up and opened her mouth but quickly shut it, allowing Kate to finish before jumping to conclusions. 

"He said that he wanted to see Tom, and he didn't know that I was here, so he started saying some shit and he said some shit about me and then before I knew it, Tom punched him in the face and knocked him out. We called the police and they came and took him away and said that they're going to tighten up the restraining orders and that he was going to get booked for some driving infractions he already had and a complaint of trespassing. But Tom's fine, I'm fine, we're all fine. It's all over, we're okay. I thought about calling you when it happened but I preferred telling you here where I could hold your hand and make sure you were okay."  
  
  
Gemma sat for a minute, absorbing all of the information, a few tears beginning to well up. She opened her mouth to respond but instead a few tears escaped. 

"Oh baby," 

Kate moved so that she was sitting next to Gemma, pulling her into an embrace. Gemma just needed a moment to take a few deep breaths. 

"Tom...punched him?" 

"Yeah, we gave Simon the opportunity to fuck off but he didn't so Tom stepped up." 

Gemma just buried her face further into Kate's shoulder. She really wished everything she'd just heard was an illusion. Kate pressed a kiss to her temple, rubbing her back. She just needed time to think. 

"Are you both okay? Honestly?" 

"Shaken up, but yeah, we're okay. I know we really hoped this would've never happened but we did know that there was a possibility he'd find out." 

"So he knows that we're together?" 

"No, but I'm sure once he sobers up he'll figure it out. But he's gone, we took care of him. And they're going to look into how he even found where Tom was living. Everything's going to be fine." 

"I'm so sorry you both had to go through that." 

"Don't be, it could've happened any day, I'm just glad it's over. Are you okay?" 

"I- I just. I don't know. It's a shock." 

"I know. You and Tom have appointments this week though right? That should help a little?" 

"Yeah." 

"Do you want to go to bed? Or talk to Tom? Maybe a bath?" 

"No, no, I just want to sit here for a little bit. I'll talk to him tomorrow, he probably doesn't want to talk about it until he can think about it and process it a bit." 

"Yeah. Do you want me to go, give you some alone time?" 

"No, stay. I really need you to stay actually." 

"Okay baby," 

They shifted on the couch a little, both getting comfortable. Gemma just laid with her head on Kate's chest, Kate mindlessly running her hand through Gemma's dark hair. Gemma was processing, and Kate's steady breathing was helping her calm down. Tom came down an hour and a half later, grabbing some water from the kitchen, stopping by and knocking on the door before he opened it. Kate and Gemma looked to the door, Tom stepping in. 

"You okay sweetie?" 

"Yeah." 

"So that's why you kept your hand in your pocket all night?" 

"Yeah." 

He took it out, trying to not flex his knuckles since they were bruised. Gemma patted the spot next to her, Tom walking over and sitting down. He leaned into Gemma's side, Gemma putting her arm around him as much as her arm could extend. Gemma was perfectly sandwiched in between Kate and Tom, but she wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Tom turned on Modern Family, letting Gemma lightly run her fingers on his head. He knew that Kate was probably dying from not only the weight of his mom leaning on her but also the weight of him leaning on his mother, but Kate didn't seem to mind. At that moment, he realized that the final straw of the altercation with his father had been his father talking bad about Kate. He subtly realized that Simon was more at fault for everything that happened in the past and that any young twenty something could've been picked up by his dad. If anything, Tom was grateful that his mom was super happy with Kate, happy to see his mom happy. Plus, Emily was chill, Tom kind of enjoying having a sibling to kick around a football with. Maybe this wasn't the family he wanted, or expected to have when he was younger, but it wasn't that bad. He even kind of preferred this family to his old family, in this family his mom was genuinely happy and Kate respected him. It was far from perfect and was a little broken, but he could accept this family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back! I loved reading all of you guys' comments while I was away and it was so great reading them and seeing how excited everyone was and how much everyone wanted me to update so you guys really owe it to yourselves for motivating me which I think everyone needs every once and while. Thanks for all the support!! 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think/want to read next!! x


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! And I would loveee if you guys could give me some ideas!!! 
> 
> x

Gemma woke up half an hour before her alarm. She checked her phone, turning off the soon-to-be-ringing alarm, setting her phone back on her nightstand before rolling over. Kate had her face smashed into her pillow, mouth slightly open, her face surrounded with messy blonde hair. She had another job interview later that afternoon, Gemma beginning to notice how anxious Kate was becoming over her job situation. Despite reassuring Kate that she could take as much time as she needed, Kate still felt the need to quickly lock down a job, contributing to the family. Gemma had even suggested Kate just being a stay at home mum, Kate turning down the suggestion. Gemma thought that maybe she just needed something to feel proud of, a purpose outside of family and friends. Personally, Gemma would be going mad if she wasn't working, she needed the routine and loved meeting new people, and loved the satisfaction of helping people get better. Gemma reached out and started running her hand through the blonde hair, Kate not even noticing. Gemma could stay like this for hours, just watching Kate sleep. It was like watching a lion, something so fierce and powerful yet when it slept it didn't look dangerous at all. Gemma loved waking up next to Kate. In the early morning before the outside world barged in, it was just them two. It was absolute privacy, Kate being completely unguarded, Gemma not having to be the responsible adult that took care of other people for a living. Kate began to wake up, at first pushing the side of her face deeper into the pillow, then finally accepting consciousness and opening her eyes. She slightly opened them, the room being too bright, Gemma laying there smiling at her as she moved her hand to now run her nails lightly across Kates upper arm. 

"Mhmm........morning" 

"Sleep well?" 

Kate nodded at she stretched, bringing her arms back to her sides, scooting closer to Gemma. Gemma took this as an invitation, scooting in Kate's arms. She felt Kates long arms wrap around her, remembering how with Simon mornings were never like this. They were never soft and blissful. They never left Gemma and Kate feeling lucky to be having such an experience. The mornings Kate and Gemma shared truly were other worldly. Kate was beginning to drift back to sleep when Gemma shifted a little, pulling back so that she could see Kate's face.

"I've got to get up in a few minutes," 

"Fine." 

Gemma smiled at this, always loving how hostile Kate would become at anything that would cut precious moments with Gemma short. Seconds later, they heard little footsteps running down the hall to their door. 

"I think we have a visitor this morning." 

"Damn, I was hoping for a quickie." 

"You're falling back asleep as we speak." 

"I can take care of you even in my sleep, but we'll have to verify that statement later." 

They heard the doorknob slowly open, the door creaking open just enough for Emily to peak through. She slipped through, tiptoeing to their bed. Kate quickly shifted into mummy mode, popping her head up from the covers. 

"Oi! What's this cute little girl doing in our bedroom darling?" 

Emily started giggling, climbing up onto the bed, Gemma rolling onto her back and opening up her arms. Emily flopped onto Gemma, giggling as Kate reached over and began to tickle her.

"A little birdy told me that you're going to the zoo today," 

"Yeah! I'm going to see a lion and a zebra and.....I forgeted the rest." 

"Forgot, and yes you will and you will absolutely love it. Do you remember when we went?" 

"I remember the tigers and the giraffes." 

Gemma watched the whole exchange, running her fingers through the curly blonde hair, not really listening. She was just enjoying the moment, the weight of Emily on top of her, her squeaky voice, Kate right next to her, her hand on top of Gemma's stomach. 

\--------

Gemma's heels clacked on the tile, Kate and Emily sitting at the counter eating cereal, Tom upstairs showering. 

"I will be back around 8, me and Tom are just going to meet up at the gym. Do I need to pick up anything after?" 

"Ummmmm.......let me check........just some garlic and juice boxes should do it." 

"Alright, that's me off," 

She gave a quick kiss to Kate, stepping to the left. 

"I want to hear alllllll about the zoo when I get home tonight," 

"Mkay!" 

"Have a fun day darling," 

She gave Emily a hug, kissing the top of her head, Emily mumbling "love you mummy" into Gemma's stomach. Gemma smiled and went out the door, setting her coffee on the car's roof, not bothering to get in the car just yet. Instead she texted Kate to come outside. 

"What'd you forget?" 

She walked closer and saw tears in Gemma's eyes. 

"What's wrong? What happened?" 

"She said "love you mummy" when I hugged her."

"And?" 

"And? It's the first time she's called me mummy." 

"Maybe to your face." 

"What?!" 

"She calls you mummy all the time." 

"What are you talking about?! Why didn't you tell me?!" 

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal? She always calls you mummy when you aren't around." 

"Why did nobody tell me? That's a huge deal, she's finally comfortable and sees me as a maternal figure." 

"We both do her bedtime routine, you look after her, she sees you kiss her mother, and we all live in the same house. I should hope she sees you as a maternal figure." 

Gemma just stood there in shock. Emily had been calling her mummy behind her back for a while. She saw Gemma as a mother figure. 

"Were you not even slightly shocked when you heard her call me mummy for the first time?" 

"A little, but it just made me very, very happy for the most part." 

"It did?" 

"You know it did, now go, you're going to be late."

"This conversation is not over, I want all of the details tonight." 

Gemma pulled Kate down by the neck, giving her a little tongue just to show how happy she was. 

"Do I get all of this tonight too?" 

"Only if you're good and don't keep milestones like this from me." 

"A milestone? She called you mummy," 

"Don't care, I want every little detail." 

Gemma got into the car, turning it on and rolling down the window as Kate leaned down. 

"I love all those little details, and I know they seem insignificant, but I'm just really, really, happy right now in my life. I feel like I have to make up for lost time and I don't want to miss a thing." 

"I know. I love you, have fun at work." 

She pecked Gemma's cheek, leaning back up and watching Gemma reverse out of the tiny driveway. 

\--------

Gemma and Tom walked out of the gym, Tom telling Gemma about one of his classes as they drove to the market. They picked up the groceries, Gemma dropping Tom off at one of his friends' house for the night. She walked through the door and into the kitchen, a little bunny flying in front of her legs, Emily making a "nooo" sound from the living room. She took one step forward, turning her head and looking into the living room, finding Emily playing with her little cardboard castle, princess dolls everywhere, a stuffed dragon sitting on top of the coffee table. She picked up the bunny, Emily looking up when Gemma cleared her throat. 

"And why was Mr. Bunny flung all the way over here?" 

"The dragon put him in the catapult. Tom taught me how to make a catapult with my arms." 

"Ahh I see, well maybe Mr. Bunny can come back and save the day hmm?" 

"No, the princesses have a plan to stop the bad dragon but first froggy needs to bring the magic sword." 

Gemma smiled, setting the bunny next to Emily and walking to the kitchen, Kate sitting at the counter texting Tess, a glass of wine next to her. 

"Oh! I didn't even hear you come in," 

"How was your interview?" 

"I think it went well, the boss seemed nice." 

"Good." 

"Tom's staying at Aiden's tonight right?" 

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow night too." 

"Mhm. Two nights to be as loud as we want."

"Only because Emily is a heavy sleeper." 

"Still. How was work?" 

"I had two toddler twins so that was interesting, but other than that pretty routine." 

"God, two? I could barely handle one." 

"Give yourself some credit, you did it on your own really." 

"I guess, but two? I would've gone mad." 

"I think you could've handled it. Would you ever want another?" 

"Where did that come from?"

"Their mum is 4 months along and I just thought wow, two already and you're saying you can't wait for the next one." 

Gemma took the salad out of the fridge, adding more lettuce and dressing. 

"Maybe." 

"Hmm?" 

"Maybe. Probably when Emily's had a couple years at primary." 

"Really?"

"I'm not going to rule it out entirely. But I am definitely more cautious now." 

"Cautious how so?" 

"Just in planning more." 

"Mhm because we definitely planned this." 

Kate laughed at that, putting her phone down and taking a sip of her wine.

"I've learned that you don't need the traditional setup for it work, but I don't know. I'm happy right now, so it's not like I want anything right now." 

"Yeah. You've gone really, really soft." 

"Shut up." 

Kate got up, turning Gemma around and wrapping her arms around her waist. 

"Imagine explaining that once the kids got older. We'd have to draw it out on paper with lots of messy arrows." 

Gemma went red at that, her head falling to Kate's shoulder.

"That's terrible! We sound like we should be on some reality TV show." 

They stood there for a minute just laughing, quieting down, Kate swaying them as Gemma kept her head on Kate's shoulder. 

"Are you being serious though?" 

"About what?"

"The kids." 

"Yeah. I don't know what I want, but I always imagined having two or three kids, but I want them later on." 

Gemma just thought in silence, finding it interesting to hear Kate's plans for the future.

"I'm taking you out to dinner on Monday night by the way." 

"Lucky me." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! And I would loveee if you guys could give me some ideas!!! 
> 
> x


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved reading everyone's comments on the last chapter, it definitely gave me some motivation to take the little bit of spare time I'll have for this week and get this chapter out for you guys!! 
> 
> Thanks for all the support and all the great ideas, I think a major reason why I haven't been updating is just me not knowing what you guys would like to read and would like to see progress so it's a major help when you guys give me some ideas. Lots of love!!!
> 
> x

"When are your parents flying in?" 

"Wednesday I think. They'll just get the train in from Gatwick." 

Kate was focused on her salad and breadsticks, Gemma just watching her while sipping her wine. Kate felt her staring, her chewing coming to a stop. 

"Hm?" 

"Nothing." 

"Do I have something on my face?" 

"No, I'm just thinking." 

"Thinking about what?" 

"We're spending _Christmas_ together. I would've never thought in a million years I'd be spending Christmas with you let alone going out on a date with you." 

Kate smiled, taking a sip of her cosmopolitan and leaning back. 

"I know, dates aren't really my thing, I just jump to the fun bits." 

Gemma rolled her eyes, finishing off her glass of wine and leaning forward. 

"You do don't you? You're very sneaky." 

"I know what I want. That night at the pub I knew what I wanted." 

"I don't think you knew, I think we were both just in hate sex overdrive. Years of loathing each other coming to a boiling point."

"I wouldn't call it hate sex," 

"Then why did you make me slap your arse so much?" 

Kate went red, it wasn't normal for Gemma to be so forward about their sex life. Gemma couldn't help but laugh, reaching across the table to play with Kate's fingers. Of course she made sure you wouldn't be able to tell, she knew that Kate still was a little shy sometimes about PDA. 

"You are......bold tonight." 

"Mhmm well with your parents getting in on Wednesday I sort of need to get some stuff done before I get busy." 

"Am I stuff?" 

They both laughed, Kate holding onto Gemma's hand a little bit tighter. 

"I did plan for that though. Tess is staying at her boyfriends for the night so I asked if we could go have some fun over there after this." 

"You. Did. Not." 

Gemma was shocked, her jaw slightly dropped.

"All we have to do is buy her new sheets after. And I may or may not have a few surprises waiting for us there." 

"Hurry up and finish that, I want to get going." 

"Seriously?" 

"You can't tell me you have a whole night full of surprises that includes a secluded honeymoon suite and not expect me to speed us along." 

Gemma flagged down the waiter, getting the check, Kate finishing up her salad. 

"Come on," 

Gemma already had her coat on, standing up and taking Kate's coat and bag with her as she started walking out. 

\------

Kate led them to Tess's flat, using the spare key she had. It was just a tiny one bedroom flat, but it was more than enough for Kate to give Gemma her pre-Christmas present. 

"Stay here, don't move." 

She went to Tess's bedroom, setting up the lights and smoothing out the duvet. She put on the new black lingerie she had bought, excited to use it. When Kate or Gemma wore lingerie, the other worshipped, looking at the one wearing lingerie with heart eyes, appreciating the view. But more importantly, the lingerie didn't mean sex. Well, it did, but it also meant that the other person had taken the time to go and pick it out, try on different pieces, criticise their own body when finding the perfect piece, and present it to the other as a simple "I thought I might show you how much you mean to me tonight in an extra special way." With Simon, they wore the pieces for only his pleasure. They wore it when they felt they needed to, not because they wanted to. Plus, Simon never really took time to appreciate their efforts, he would get it off of them at some point and never speak of it again. On the other hand, Gemma and Kate listened to each other. Kate knew that Gemma loved it when she was loud, and knew that Gemma loved any lingerie that highlighted her long legs; something Gemma would take her time with before reaching the ultimate destination. Gemma knew that Kate loved it when she would take control every now and again, and she knew that Kate loved to try new things in the bedroom. That's how it was with them, they communicated and their sex was enjoyable and was something neither of them couldn't get enough of. One time, they had a petty little argument, Kate quietly coming into their bedroom and slipping behind Gemma underneath the covers. Gemma felt her tossing and turning, eventually giving up her pettiness and turning over. She laid her head on Kate's shoulder, her arm wrapping around her torso, Kate's arms immediately wrapping around Gemma. Both knew that neither of them would sleep if they weren't touching in some way. But it soon escalated to makeup sex, both being too fed up with being mad at each other. 

"Okay come in!" 

She stood next to the dresser across the room, awkwardly doing a casual pose, trying her best to look sexy. 

"Oh my god." 

Gemma had wide eyes, her coat in her arms dropping to the floor. 

"What's all this?" 

Kate sauntered over to Gemma, taking her hands. 

"I just wanted to say thank you for taking a chance on me and giving me the happiest six months of my life. Even after years of pure hell you still were able to look past that and see me for me. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.....oh Jesus don't start crying!" 

They were now laughing, Kate wiping away the tears that had formed in Gemma's eyes. 

"No crying tonight! This is supposed to be romantic and I don't know! I just wanted to do something nice!" 

Now she felt embarrassed, Gemma still laughing. 

"No, no, I love it, it's perfect. I just won't give a little speech cause I'll start crying and I know how uncomfortable you get with crying." 

They just stood there for a moment laughing, Gemma pulling herself together, Kate rubbing little circles on the backs of Gemma's hands. 

"Are we okay now? Can I start your early Christmas present?" 

"Yeah, I'm good, continue," 

Kate smiled, taking a step forward, closing the little space between them. 

"I remember after everything thinking that I didn't belong anywhere. That I was just doing all of that shit to make myself fit in somewhere. But now......" 

She moved Gemma's hair back, leaning down and giving a soft kiss on her neck, breathing in that perfume she loved. 

"I think I've finally found where I fit in, and it's not conventional, but I know I'm doing something right because of the way I feel spending every day with you....." 

She moved up and kissed her earlobe, lightly tugging at it. 

"And the way I feel when I see you and Emily makes me absolutely positive in saying...." 

She moved to Gemma's face, placing little kisses all over. 

"In saying that I want to be with you as long as you'll have me." 

She moved her arms to be around Gemma's waist, pulling her a little bit closer, Gemma's arms going up around Kate's neck. 

"Nothing in my life has ever felt so right, and I think we've both waited so long to feel like this with someone." 

Gemma laid her head on Kate's shoulder, turning her head slightly and whispering in her ear. 

"Are you about to pull out a ring?" 

"No, no, not yet at least. If that's something you want I can get you one-" 

"I was joking, sorry, I don't think either of us really want that, sorry, continue," 

"Are you sure? We can talk about this-" 

"We can talk about it later, I don't want one, god, I've ruined the moment haven't I?" 

Kate rolled her eyes, pulling back and looking down at Gemma. 

"We'll talk about it later, for now, I have a very busy night planned for us." 

She took a few steps back and lowered them onto the bed, Gemma straddling her waist. They spent some time just kissing, Gemma eventually pulling back for air and pushing Kate onto her back, looking down and admiring the lingerie. 

"You're so, so, beautiful." 

Kate sat up, bringing Gemma back down with her, flipping them over. 

\-------

They opened the front door as quietly as they possibly could, slipping their coats off. Gemma made sure Emily was fast asleep, kissing her on the forehead and pulling her bed covers back up. Kate was in the bathroom wiping her makeup off, Gemma coming in and closing their bedroom door. She went up behind Kate, wrapping her hands around her waist. 

"That was perfect, thank you." 

"You deserve it." 

She turned back into the bedroom and changed into loose and long pants, taking her bra off and just slipping on a tank top. She and Kate swapped places, Kate leaning against the dresser as she sent Tess a thank you text before getting changed. Gemma wiped off her makeup, brushing her teeth and getting into bed. Kate plugged in her phone, changing while Gemma looked at all the hickies she had left on her. She marveled at the scratches on her back, Kate turning around and smiling once she saw Gemma staring. Kate threw on a pair of tiny night shorts, putting on Gemma's old university t-shirt. 

"So, I think we should plan a night like that every month." 

"Every month? I don't think my sex drive could handle that," 

"Can it handle one last round?" 

Kate started moving on top of Gemma, Gemma not protesting, instead bunching up a handful of t-shirt in her hands. Once again they heard tiny footsteps, Gemma sticking her head out from under Kate to listen. 

"Did you hear that?" 

"Mhm hear what?" 

"I think Emily is up." 

"You just checked on her, she's fine." 

Kate started to try and get Gemma's tank top off, Gemma remaining frozen. Gemma not moving, Kate became impatient and just shoved her hand under Gemma's shirt, grabbing a handful of titty, going to town on Gemma's neck. 

"I feel like she's up." 

"She's not, she's fast asleep like she was when you checked on her, now mhmm,"

Kate wasn't letting up, switching to Gemma's other side, beginning to work on a new hickie where nobody would see.

Of course, seconds later, their bedroom opened, a sniffling Emily standing with her blanket and favorite stuffed animal in her arms. Gemma shoved Kate off of her at lightning speed, Kate's lips puffy and wet. 

"Oh sweetie, did you have a bad dream? Come here love," 

Emily nodded, wiping away a tear and walking to the bed, Gemma scooting back so that they could spoon. Meanwhile, Kate was experiencing major sex withdrawal, her hand that a few seconds ago was holding a handful of Gemma's chest now empty. 

"Can you turn the light off?" 

Kate was pulled out of her dirty thoughts at that, getting up and seeing Emily sniffling into Gemma's chest, Gemma holding her close and brushing her fingers through her hair. She immediately thought, "that should be my face in her chest," shaking the thought from her head, turning off the light and scooting up behind Gemma, having to settle for wrapping her arm around her waist, throwing her leg over Gemma's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved reading everyone's comments on the last chapter, it definitely gave me some motivation to take the little bit of spare time I'll have for this week and get this chapter out for you guys!! 
> 
> Thanks for all the support and all the great ideas, I think a major reason why I haven't been updating is just me not knowing what you guys would like to read and would like to see progress so it's a major help when you guys give me some ideas. Lots of love!!!
> 
> x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me, I had to add a little bit of ~spice~ 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!!

She felt numb. She was just trying to get home, trying to get somewhere she could breathe. She got out the car, scrambling to get her house keys into the lock. She opened the door and heard people. Shit. Kate's family. She quickly beelined for the kitchen, thankful that it was out of sight from the living room. She just needed to breathe. She knew something like this was going to happen, with all the extra appointments from people and kids having time off work and school, the stress of the holidays. She dumped her bag on the table, sitting down. She rested her elbows on her knees, bending over and putting her head in her hands. She just need to breathe. 

Kate saw Gemma's car pull up. She tried to quickly find an opportunity to excuse herself, hoping to greet Gemma as soon as she walked in the door. Her mother wouldn't stop talking and she heard Gemma come in and go straight to the kitchen. Surely she would've heard everyone? It wasn't like Gemma to ignore people. She excused herself, slipping out into the hallway, walking back to the kitchen. She saw Gemma sat down, her chest quickly rising and falling. Gemma heard the sound of Kate's boots against the linoleum, Gemma snapping her head up. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

Kate squatted down in front of Gemma, putting her hands on Gemma's arms, hoping to get her to look up again. Gemma just shook her head, still trying to calm down her breathing. 

"What happened? Fuck, this is a panic attack isn't it." 

Gemma just gave a small nod, trying her best to focus on her surroundings. Kate reached up and tucked a few pieces of brown hair away, trying to gently pry Gemma from her hands. 

"Can you look at me? Here," 

Kate took Gemma's hands in her own, Gemma finally looking up. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to collect herself. She eventually looked back down, Kate rubbing little circles in on her knees helping anchor her. Kate looked worried, but also calm, knowing that she just had to give Gemma some time. She lifted Gemma's hands up, kissing both, setting them back down on Gemma's thigh. She scooted a little closer, moving her head so she could see past a thick piece of brown hair that had come down over Gemma's face.

"Better?" 

Gemma nodded, taking one big deep breath. 

"I um, I thought I saw him." 

Gemma quietly said, barely above a whisper. Kate knit her brows, opening her mouth to speak but then closing, not wanting to jump to any conclusions especially when Gemma was vulnerable. Instead, she lifted Gemma's hands once more, slowly kissing each knuckle, waiting for Gemma to elaborate. Her legs were getting tired, but she didn't care. 

"I was walking out the building and there was a man who looked like him. He and his wife were fighting and it just, god, I don't know. He was wearing the same color dress shirt he used to always wear."

Kate nodded along as she listened, shifting her weight a little to accommodate the uncomfortableness of squatting down. Gemma scrunched up her face, pinching the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. How could she freak out over something so normal. He was a regular guy, a total stranger, yet seeing him from behind in that color dress shirt sent her into this panic. 

"It's ok, your breathings normal again so that's good." 

Kate didn't really know what to say. She thought to herself 'well I'm not a therapist so,' quickly scolding herself. She needed to be there for Gemma, she needed to provide emotional support, but she didn't really know how. She tried to think of what she would want after a panic attack, deciding to move Gemma into her lap. Gemma was a little confused at first, Kate sometimes choosing a unique way of being there for you. She pulled Gemma onto her lap, Gemma putting one leg on either side. She felt so small, wrapping her arms around Kate's neck, Kate's strong, long arms coming around her. She buried her face into Kate's neck, smelling the perfume she always wore. Kate rubbed a hand over the brunette's back, hoping that Gemma would eventually pull back and magically be better. She felt like shit when she felt out of control of a situation, Gemma crumbling into her embrace. She pressed a kiss to Gemma's temple, trying to find some words to say. 

"It wasn't him, I know that you'll probably be shaken up for the rest of the night so do you want to go lie down? I could bring you up some tea in a little bit?" 

Gemma was so thankful for Kate. She knew that Kate was still navigating the proper responses to someone's emotional distress, but damn she was doing a great job. 

"Just tell everyone I'm taking a quick shower, thanks." 

"Ok, take as much time as you need." 

She didn't want Gemma to feel pressured in seeing everyone tonight, she just wanted to make sure Gemma was ok. She was more than happy to let Gemma stay up in their room all night and enlist Tom for dinner help. Gemma got up, running her hands through her hair and taking a few more deep breaths. She didn't want to bail on Kate's family, but she needed to get herself together before playing 'girlfriend/hostess'. She pecked Kate's cheek, going upstairs and sitting on the bed. She ran through some coping mechanisms, eventually going to the bathroom and touching up her makeup. 

Kate watched her go upstairs, then getting up and grabbing more tea biscuits. She went back to the living room, hearing Tom, her brother, and her father discussing football, her mother playing with Emily. She sat down next to her mum, her mum taking a tea biscuit. 

"No Gemma?" 

"Oh, she's just freshening up, she'll be down in a bit." 

She didn't know that her mother had seen the two of them when she peeked her head out to see what was taking Kate so long. She saw her daughter squatted down before the older woman, kissing her knuckles, a look of worry on her face in response to Gemma's look of panic. She didn't say anything, instead glad to see her daughter comforting someone that looked human in comparison to shallow Simon who always put on a mask of confidence mixed with arrogance. She noticed that Kate looked a little spaced out, obviously upset by what occurred in the kitchen. Gemma came down 10 minutes later, Kate's parents standing up and hugging her, shocking Kate and Tom. She was introduced to Kate's younger brother, who didn't really care who she was, all he knew was that her sister was a slut and it came back to bite her in the arse and somehow she ended up with the wife after she ditched the husband. He was actually dreading spending Christmas with Kate's 'family' especially since he knew it was going to be awkward with Tom. But once his dad subtly forced him and Tom to talk to one another, he found that Tom wasn't that bad, both of them talking about football and finding that they both play the same video games. He kind of felt bad for Tom, knowing that he had to live with his sister who was a whore that not only fucked his dad but then went and fucked his mum. 

Gemma sat down next to Kate, Emily getting up from the floor and crawling onto Gemma's lap. 

"How was your day sweetie?" 

"Fun! We got to make snowflakes with glitter!" 

"Oh no, not the glitter." 

Kate's mum laughed at that, seeing no sign of Gemma being upset 15 minutes ago. Emily went back to playing, Kate's mom seeing out of the corner of her eye Kate pulling Gemma so that Gemma was leaning against her. She wrapped an arm around Gemma, kissing her temple and mouthing the words 'you ok?' to her. Gemma just nodded, redirecting her focus on Emily, Emily showing the different rooms of her dollhouse to her grandmother. Kate's mother had never seen Kate in this capacity, taking care of others instead of being taken care of. She could admit that her daughter was spoiled, everything being handed on a silver platter. But seeing Kate take care of other people's needs, seeing her not look like a spoiled princess who has had mummy and daddy take care of everything was refreshing. In a way she felt that she was finally seeing her daughter mature, Gemma helping her. A timer in the kitchen went off after a little bit, Kate's mum following Kate to help. Gemma got some alone time with Emily, scooping her up in her arms and asking her all about her day. She wasn't too thrilled to hear about Emily's new found love for glitter, Gemma and the hoover both internally screaming. 

"I missed you mummy." 

Gemma noticed Kate's father look over to them at the name 'mummy', looking to them and thinking for a second, then turning back around. Gemma smiled, then moving to redo Emily's little braid. 

"I missed you too, what else did you do today?" 

"I got to draw a snowman and we watched the snowman when we finished." 

"That sounds fun, did you play outside?" 

"No, it was too cold. But! We played _inside_ and I got to play with a hula hoop." 

"Really?! That's great, I'm glad you had fun. Did you have fun playing with your Nan?" 

"Yeah!" 

She let Emily go back to her play, leaning back into the couch and checking her email. She was still shaken up, but seeing her little family helped bring her back down to Earth. Kate took the lasagna out the oven, cursing under her breath when she realised how heavy and hot the pan was. 

"Gemma alright?" 

"Yeah, long day at work, saving lives and curing sick children." 

Her mother rolled her eyes, part of her glad to know that Gemma was a medical professional unlike Simon that was a fraudulent businessman. 

"Positive?" 

"What?" 

Kate grabbed the wine bottle and turned around, pouring out three glasses. 

"She looked a little...off." 

She could see her daughter ready to get defensive so she backtracked.

"I saw that she was upset when she came in." 

Fuck. Kate was really hoping no one had saw and that she wouldn't have to answer any intrusive questions. 

"She was having a panic attack. She's fine now." 

She turned around, grabbing plates out of the cupboard. Her mother took a sip from her glass of wine, stealing a chip off a baking sheet that was fresh out the oven. 

"Panic attack over what?" 

"Mum, why do you need to know?" 

She put her hands up in surrender, raising her eyebrows. 

"I was just wondering." 

Kate knew it was better to answer than to not, better to leave her mother with zero room for making up absurd conspiracies.

"She saw a guy who reminded her of Simon and she got a little...PTSD? I don't know, but she's fine now, really." 

Her mother felt bad for Gemma, not realizing just how traumatic the recent years had been for the woman. 

"Oh, sorry. Here, let me set the table." 

They moved about the kitchen in silence for a few seconds. 

"How's work been?" 

"Good, my boss likes me." 

"How's Gemma's work been?" 

Kate stopped at the question, wondering why her mother cared. It almost seemed as if her mother cared about Gemma, which freaked Kate out a little bit. 

"Fine? Why?" 

"For Christ's sake Kate, she's living with my daughter and granddaughter, one calling her babe and the other calling her mummy. I think I have the right to show some interest in her life." 

Kate's mum saying 'babe' and 'mummy' in Kate and Emily's voices. Kate huffed, rolling her eyes as she set plates on the table. She hated it when people invaded her personal life. She liked going and doing her own thing, not dealing with judgement from others. 

"Sorry,"

"No. You've always been one to be defensive, no reason why that would change now."

"I'm not as defensive. It's something I've been working on." 

"Working on? Gemma's changed you for the better." 

Kate could hide her smile. She knew that Gemma made her want to be a better person. Gemma made her want to give the mums at school a chance, Gemma encouraging Kate to make conversation. She encouraged Kate to be nicer, nicer to the grocers, nicer to waiters, nicer to neighbors, etc. The neighbors actually thought Kate was nice. Never had her neighbors thought she was anything but a spoiled bitch. They were right to think so, she used to never hide the eye rolls and she would make it painfully obvious that she wished to never speak to you again. Sometimes she never even noticed she was being a bitch, she just got away with everything growing up. But Gemma would call her out, saying 'that's rude' and would make her apologize. Simon always let her be rude, if anything he encouraged it. 

"Dinner!" 

Everyone packed into the kitchen, Gemma noticing Kate's family being a little shocked at how tight it was. The kitchen was fine when it was just the four of them, but now with seven it was a tight fit. She imagined Kate's father calling her later that night, insisting she move to a bigger place. Dinner was normal, the usual small talk occurring, the usual praising of the cook. Kate was tired and just wanted them to leave. She wanted to have her alone time with Gemma. She finally got her family moving out the door, meeting Gemma upstairs for Emily's bed routine. Emily was already in the bath, playing with toys, Gemma being careful to not get shampoo into the little girls eyes. She was leaning over the small tub, thankful for the thick bathmat under her knees. Kate sat on the toilet lid, looking at her nails. 

"I need to get my nails done." 

"Date?" 

Kate smiled, loving how she and Gemma could make a date out of anything. It didn't have to be a fancy dinner like it was with Simon, with Gemma it could just be them going to Tesco together alone. Tom rushed into the bathroom, holding his hand to the side of face to act as a privacy fence. 

"Brian's brother is sick and can't go to the football tomorrow, and he asked if I wanted to spend tonight and go tomorrow morning." 

Gemma stopped rinsing Emily's hair, thinking if they had anything planned tomorrow. 

"Yeah that's fine." 

Kate usually stayed out of these situations, quietly sitting and letting Gemma and Tom work it out. But tonight she felt like being nice. 

"I can, ehm, give you a ride? Only if you want," 

Tom thought about it for a moment. 

"Yeah, sure...thanks." 

He rushed to his bedroom, quickly packing a little overnight bag. Despite her wet hand, Gemma took Kate's hand into hers and whispered 'thank you'. Kate stood up and bent over to kiss her on the forehead, going downstairs to grab the car keys. Tom came down, a bookbag over his shoulder. They got into the car and drove in silence, Tom breaking it. 

"Thanks for driving me." 

"No problem, have fun." 

Kate was really trying to get onto good terms with Tom, not just ok-terms. She drove home, getting back in time to put Emily in her pajamas while Gemma picked out a story. 

"What about...this one?" 

Emily shook her head, Kate handing her a top. 

"How about this one then?" 

Her head popped through the top, looking at the book and shaking her head again. 

"That's seven books I've pulled out, you have to pick one." 

She looked at her mother who was standing behind Gemma, Kate crossing her arms and tilting her head as a warning. 

"The cow one is fine." 

Emily said with a sigh, climbing into bed. Kate read the story tonight, Gemma sitting at the foot of her bed, Emily cuddling up to Gemma's legs. 

"My legs please," 

Emily let go, Kate and Gemma tucking her in and giving goodnight hugs/kisses. Gemma was out first, Kate turning off the bedside lamp and going to close the door. 

"Wait, can you get mummy?" 

"Why do you need mummy?" 

"I just do," 

Kate shrugged her shoulders, calling for Gemma. 

"What?" 

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell me." 

Gemma went into the room, a tiny bit of light from Emily's night light allowing her to see the girl. 

"What is it?" 

Emily opened up her arms, nonverbally asking for another hug. 

"Oh sweetie, just wanted another hug?" 

Emily nodded, Gemma sitting on the edge of her bed and hugging her, kissing the top of her head. 

"Alright, sweet dreams." 

She went into her and Kate's bedroom, Kate being topless. It wasn't a rare sight, as long as Tom wasn't home Kate could be seen walking to the washer naked, fishing out clothes. 

"What'd she need?" 

"Just wanted extra hugs and kisses." 

"What?!" 

Kate threw on a tank top, marching to Emily's room. She burst through the door, demanding she also receive extra hugs and kisses. Emily giggled, hugging and kissing her mother, telling her to go back to her bed since she was tired from playing with gran. Gemma brushed her teeth, smiling at the pissed off look that Kate was sporting. 

"Why do you get extra hugs and kisses? I'm the one that pushed her out of me!" 

Gemma spit out her toothpaste, rinsing with water, closing their bedroom door.   
  


"I guess I'm just her favorite." 

Kate pretended to be offended, going up behind Gemma and lifting her off the ground. 

"Kate!" 

She spun her around once, setting her down and covering her in kisses.

"She's tired and Tom is out." 

Gemma raised her eyebrows, knowing exactly what Kate was suggesting. 

"Are you not tired from entertaining all night?" 

"Nope." 

She started kissing Gemma's neck, subtly tugging Gemma to the bed. 

"It's the perfect time to use toys." 

Gemma was a little bit surprised that it was Kate who suggested taking the toys out tonight. Gemma was a sex toy advocate, reading multiple medical journals that wrote about the benefits of sex toy use, as well as speaking to gynecologists at the hospital that recommended she get into it. Sure, Kate liked them, but sometimes she felt a little ridiculous using them. 

"Mhm, if you really want to." 

Kate smiled, nipping at Gemma's earlobe and soothing the bite with her tongue. 

"Can I wear it tonight?" 

Now Gemma was surprised. Kate never openly stated that she wanted to wear the strapon, usually it just kind of...happened. They would always have things get heated on the bed, one of them requesting the use of particular toy, the other reaching under the bed and pulling out the all black box. 

"Yes." 

Gemma sat on the bed and shimmied out of her clothes. Kate just sent her pajama pants to the ground, kneeling down and picking out whatever toy she wanted and got it on. She got up, stepping into the harness and quickly reached over and locked the door. Gemma watched with admiration as Kate crawled on top of her. 

"Oh." 

"What?" 

"You um...got yours." 

Kate lifted herself up so that she could properly see Gemma, Kate trying to read her facial expressions. 

"The one I always use on you is the...biggest." 

Kate looked down, her blonde hair getting in Gemma's face. She didn't think it was that big. She was actually thinking of getting a bigger one. She looked back up. 

"Is it really the biggest we have?" 

Gemma nodded, beginning to feel embarrassed. Part of her wishes she never brought it up at all. 

"I've never used it on you?" 

Gemma shook her head, both of them now looking down at it. 

"Do you want to get another one?" 

"No, no, it's fine." 

"Are you sure, I can just grab-" 

Kate leaned over looking into the open box. 

"No, really, it's fine. I've been wanting to...graduate to that...size." 

"Is it big? Be honest." 

Gemma bit her lip and nodded, Kate now going red. 

"I'm a slut aren't I?" 

"No, you're just well-experienced. Grab the lube, I need all the lubrication I can get." 

Kate smiled at that, leaning over and grabbing the bottle, setting it down at Gemma's side. She went back to kissing Gemma, trying to recapture the sexy vibes. She checked to see if Gemma was wet, which she was, Kate sitting up to get lube on the strapon, one hand staying on Gemma's tit. 

"Oh, fuck." 

"Ok?" 

"Yeah, fuck, that feels great." 

Kate smiled, slowly pushing further into Gemma. She loved the faces and sounds Gemma was making at this challenge, Kate wanting to watch everything. She wanted to be as gentle as possible, slowly pushing in and giving Gemma adequate time to get accustomed to the bigger size. 

"Faster." 

Gemma managed to get out in between moans. But when Kate didn't go faster, she became impatient. She was glad that Kate was taking her time and being gentle, but tonight she just fucking needed it. She reached and put her hands on Kate's ass, ramming Kate into her. Gemma let out the loudest moan she'd ever let out when they weren't completely alone in the house. It almost sounded like a moan from a shitty porno. Her hand shot to her mouth, covering it and then proceeding to laugh. Kate couldn't help but laugh too, shushing her and getting back to work. 

\---

Gemma cleaned up at 1 AM, giving the toys a quick wash and returning them to the box. She cleaned up Kate, who was passed out in bed, grabbing a pair of her panties and slipping them up her long legs. When she had to slip them over Kate's ass, Kate groaned and shifted, giving Gemma a split second to quickly pull them up. She unlocked the door, Saturday mornings being Emily's favorite for morning snuggles. She got into her pajamas, turning the light off and climbing in next to Kate. Kate snuggled up to her, unconsciously frowning at how cold Gemma was. She laid her head on Gemma's chest, her hand grabbing a boob. She threw her leg in between Gemma's, Gemma not exactly being comfortable, but also being too tired to do anything about it. 

\---

Kate woke up first, finding it suspicious that a certain blonde little girl hadn't found her way into their bed. She didn't care, rolling over and seeing Gemma. She was slightly drooling, arms tucked close to her chest in fetal position. Kate thought she looked cold so she grabbed the blanket next to the bed that had fallen off, scooted closer to Gemma, and tucked it into the small space between them. She brushed some of Gemma's brown hair out of her face, running her fingers through it and smoothing it down. She did this for about ten minutes, Gemma eventually closing her mouth and shifting. She slowly woke up, Kate scooting closer and peppering her face in soft, tiny kisses just before she fully woke up. Gemma caught up, finding Kate's lips. 

"Hi." 

"Hi." 

They laid in silence, Kate pulling Gemma into her arms to act a heater. She always got cold, even with Gemma beside her. 

"No! Stop! Your feet are so cold!" 

Kate gave an evil laugh, refusing to let Gemma escape her arms. The laughter died down, Gemma laying her head on Kate's chest, breathing in Kate's distinct smell. 

"Do you, uh, want to talk about what happened yesterday?" 

Gemma pulled back, just enough to allow her to speak. 

"I really thought it was him. 

Gemma said barely above a whisper. 

"I know, but the important thing is that it wasn't." 

"Yeah. I'm sorry I freaked out, you're parents probably think I'm a twat for ignoring them when I came in." 

"They don't. I sort of told my mom. It's just she was asking and asking and I knew that if I didn't get her an answer she'd make some insane assumption-" 

"It's fine, really, I don't mind. They already think I'm crazy, so," 

"No. They don't." 

Kate pulled back the second Gemma said that, looking at her with a serious face. 

"They don't. I'm not kidding. I don't want to hear you saying that you think they do because they don't. They think you're incredibly smart and kind." 

Gemma didn't respond, instead she pulled Kate back and rested her head back on her chest. 

"I know that yesterday must've been terrifying but I'm proud that you came home and did your coping mechanisms. I could care less about entertaining my parents, you and our little family here is my number one priority ok?" 

Gemma nodded, Kate pressing a kiss to Gemma's temple. 

"It's suspicious that Emily isn't barging in right now." 

"I let you sleep in and I got her settled earlier this morning." 

"Fuck, I love you." 

Kate shoved her arm in between her and Gemma, her hand going in Gemma's trousers. Gemma found it a little funny how Kate quickly pulled her up the bed so the tops of their heads were the level. She kind of liked it when Kate manhandled her, she liked it when Kate when pick her up (literally lift her) and relocate her when she didn't notice she was in the way in the kitchen, she liked it when Kate would grab her arm and pull her into her lap, and she loved it when Kate would pick her up and set her on their tiny bathroom counter when they fucked. 

\---

After a trip to Tesco, Kate put away all the groceries for Christmas dinner, Gemma sitting at the counter sending one last prescription before officially being a on holiday. 

"Gemma!" 

"Huh? What?" 

"You're a workaholic. Do you want steak pies or Italian for dinner?" 

"Steak pies sound good." 

"Aren't you supposed to be on holiday with your gorgeous, amazing girlfriend that cooks?" 

Gemma rolled her eyes, clicking send and closing her laptop. 

"Chicken pox can't wait until I get back from holiday I'm afraid." 

"Isn't there a vaccine?" 

"Yeah, but kids can still get it in-between doses. It's not common, but it happens." 

"Wine?" 

"Yes, please." 

She got up and took the glass from Kate, stopping by the fridge to grab a beer for Tom. Kate threw the steak pies into the oven, grabbing a bag of hula hoops crisps on her way to the living room. She sat down next to Gemma, opening the bag of crisps and popping a few pieces into her mouth. Gemma shoved her hand in, taking out a handful. Soon enough the bag was being passed between couches, Tom and Emily hogging the bag. 

"Do we really have to watch this one again?" 

Kate whispered to Gemma, Gemma taking a sip of her wine. 

"Mhm...yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because they insist." 

"We're the adults." 

"And they're our darling children." 

"Them? I've never seen them before,"

Kate reached for the TV remote, Tom and Emily sitting up. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Mummy that's not very nice." 

Kate glared at them as she set it down, leaning back and putting her head on Gemma's shoulder. 

\---

The house was packed on Christmas morning, wrapping paper littering the floor. Gemma tried to get as much up as she could before they got around to the adult presents. Christmas dinner was normal, Gemma helping Kate's mum with the dishes. 

"Today was lovely, wasn't it?" 

"Very lovely." 

They scrubbed pots in silence, Gemma finally speaking up. 

"Thanks again for the membership to the aquarium, she's gotten really into that lately." 

"Kate loved the aquarium too, she begged to go on the weekends," 

"Really? Kate?" 

Kate's mum nodded, turning back to make sure Kate wasn't in the kitchen. 

"She used to love going out with us, no matter what it was. She used to love going into the office with her father, anything that meant spending time with us." 

"Mhm, she's still like that. I told her I was going to the chiropractor and she wanted to come. Sometimes she'll ask Tom to take her somewhere because 'mummy won't leave her'. She's extremely independent but I think she likes knowing she's not alone." 

"That's why I think she was with him for so long. I don't think she wanted the possibility of finding someone better if it meant there was a possibility she'd be alone." 

"Yeah." 

They dried their hands, taking their wine glasses into the living room where everyone was snoozing. Even Emily was asleep, laying on the front of her grandfather. 

"I should get them to their beds, tonight was lovely Gemma," 

"I'll call the taxi now, and really, you're welcome anytime, it's nice seeing Emily hanging out with her uncle and her grandparents." 

\---

Gemma got Emily to bed, Kate saying that she was going to finish up some clean-up from dinner. Kate made sure Gemma was busy with Emily, going downstairs with an order confirmation paper in her hands. She had the paper rolled up, a simple red ribbon holding it closed. She found Tom in the living room, playing a new video game he got. 

"Hey, um, one last thing for you." 

Tom paused the game, sitting up and taking the paper. 

"What-" 

"Just open it." 

He slid the ribbon off, opening the paper, his eyes going wide. It was season tickets for Aston Villa for next season. 

"Really?" 

Kate saw a giant smile on his face, Tom standing up. 

"I just thought since you're moving back there for uni that maybe it'd be nice to have and there's three so you can take two friends or maybe even a girlfriend... or a boyfriend, I'm definitely not one to judge people's romantic choices," 

Tom hugged her. Willingly hugged her. She was shocked, awkwardly hugging him back. 

"Thank you so, so, so much. It means a lot. I used to only go with dad and then after everything I was annoyed and then I started going with friends and I really enjoy it again now. Thank you so much." 

He let go, Kate giving an awkward smile and walking out of the living room. She cleaned up, happy that Tom a) accepted her gift b) liked her gift and c) hugged her. Ok, so she wasn't too thrilled about the hug, but she knew the hug meant that maybe they were doing more than being civil for the sake of Gemma. 

"Oh, Kate, ehm," 

Kate walked back, seeing Tom fiddling with his fingers. 

"I um...the other day I thought I left my shin guards in your car so I went and I uh...saw something...and I just want you to know that if it's what you and my mom want, I'm happy for you both." 

Kate was waiting for Tom to say what exactly he found when she remembered. She remembered going for her annual appointment at the gynecologists and picking up a pamphlet on 'family starting'. It was the only interesting pamphlet, at least, as interesting as a pamphlet like that could be. The nurse said the wait was going to be long and Kate's phone had died. Bored out of her fucking mind, she picked up the pamphlet and opened it up, finding out that she was the perfect candidate for a sperm donation. She finished the pamphlet, looking at some others and putting them all in her bag. And of course, the pamphlet on 'family starting' happened to be the pamphlet that fell out of her bag and into the floor of her car that her girlfriends teenage son then found. Great. 

"Oh fuck, no, no, no. I was just at my appointment and my phone died and I had to wait a while so I just started reading the stack of pamphlets they had and that was one. The doctor came in so I just shoved them all in my purse and that one happened to fall out. We are not ready for that, I don't think either of us even want that," 

"Oh, okay," 

She went back to cleaning, praying that Tom wouldn't tell Gemma. She honestly just picked up the pamphlet out of boredom and curiosity. But part of her thought that if Gemma found out that she'd get spooked and bail. 

Meanwhile, Gemma was upstairs taking a shower. She ran her hands through her wet hair, her hands settling on her shoulders. She was thinking about what Kate's mum said in regards to Kate and loneliness. Was she only with Gemma because she was there? Because Gemma was willing to take a chance on her? Maybe she saw Gemma as a stable relationship with guaranteed sex. Was she the easy choice? Was she so desperate that Kate saw her as a easy prey? Having someone cook dinner some nights, fuck you, and be a free babysitter? Shit, Gemma would want that. She turned the shower off, stepping out and grabbing a towel. The fancy, extra soft towels that Kate had replaced her old cheap ones with. Why would Kate choose her? Sure, they had some shared trauma, but Gemma still stood there brushing her teeth wondering if Kate was only with her because she said yes. She tried to tell herself that she was being delusional, but she kept on hearing Kate's mum saying how terrified Kate was of being alone. She walked into their bedroom, Kate sitting in bed on her phone. She climbed in next to Kate, rubbing in the rest of her hand lotion. She looked over to Kate, seeing that she was texting Tess. Kate pressed the send button, plugging in her phone and turning off the lamp. She curled up to her pillow, Gemma still watching her. Kate opened one eye. 

"What?" 

"Oh, nothing." 

Kate closed her eye, pulling the covers up a bit more. Gemma turned off her lamp, laying down on her back. Kate scooted close and threw her arm over Gemma's torso, pressing a quick kiss to her jaw. Gemma was stiff, not even moving her arm away from her sides. She knew that Kate would start sensing something was off so she tried to relax. She didn't want to start a fight on Christmas. 

\---

"Tom is with friends and Emily is going to be gone all day with my parents." 

Gemma swallowed her tea, looking up at Kate. She gave a confused look, Kate dropping the butter knife onto the plate with a clatter. 

"Gemma! I have been planning your Christmas present for weeks! Show a little more enthusiasm." 

"Sorry I was busy taking care of my trophy wife." 

Gemma said with a smirk, getting up to make herself another tea. 

"Don't be bratty, that's my job today. I am going upstairs to get your present and you better not come upstairs until I say you can." 

"I can't even freshen up first? I'm in sweats and I just woke up." 

"Don't talk like that, you're absolutely beautiful. Now go relax and I'll call you up when I'm ready alright?" 

She pecked Gemma's cheek, then ran upstairs. Gemma flopped onto the couch, taking advantage of this valuable kid-free quiet time. By the time she had read some of her book and caught up on her favorite TV show, she'd become antsy. 

"Any idea on when you'll be ready?" 

"Don't rush me!" 

"Well, can I go to the gym? I just need my-" 

She turned the doorknob, the door quickly slamming shut. 

"Kate, I just need to grab a change of clothes." 

The door opened, revealing Kate with straightened hair and a huge navy blanket wrapped around her. 

"I just finished ok! Now shoo, I need to open the door in a sexy way. Oh! And put this on with nothing on underneath." 

"Hey! Where did you-"

The door slammed shut, Gemma holding the white lab coat out in front of her. Oh. So that was Kate's grand plan. Gemma rolled her eyes and stripped, putting the coat on.   
  


“Do you have it on?”

”Yeah.”

Kate swung the door open and Kate stood proud in her slutty nurse costume. She had a full face of makeup on and she’d done her hair. Gemma started laughing, steading herself on the door frame. 

"It is wayyyyy to early for this." 

Kate took her hand and pulled her into the room. 

"Doctors don't fantasize about slutty nurses, FYI." 

"This one does." 

"This one does not." 

"Well this one does today." 

\---

Kate had to pick up Emily so she bid farewell to the slutty nurse costume and left Gemma laying in bed. Both had enjoyed the nurse and doctor roleplay, Kate a bit too much. Gemma laid on her side, curled up with the duvet, staring at the radiator. She hadn't stopped thinking about Kate possibly only being with her out of desperation and fear of loneliness. Why did her mum have to mention that little fact? Gemma was confident and secure in the relationship, but she couldn't help but compare their relationship to Kate and Simon's. Kate was always begging Simon to push Gemma out of the picture. She was desperate for Simon to leave Gemma once they knew she was pregnant. She was denying his cheating allegations in a bid to save their marriage, even though part of her knew it to be true. She was a pretty girl, she could easily get set up with someone via her friends, yet she chose Gemma. One could claim the single mother part would be a turn off for some guys but surely not all. There had to be some attractive guys that were ok with dating single mothers. What did Gemma have to offer to Kate? A teenage son that didn't like her, a tiny three-bedroom house? A reminder of trauma? 

\---

Kate cut up carrots for Emily, sitting at the table and asking all about what she did today. Emily gave thorough descriptions, Kate sometimes having to remind Emily to not chew and speak. They played for a bit and Tom came home, Tom popping in and saying hi before going upstairs to shower. Kate thought that Gemma must've fallen asleep, smiling at the thought of tiring her out with sex. A little later on she went upstairs to grab a jumper, passing their bedroom. She popped her head in, expecting to see Gemma sleeping peacefully with a post sex glow. Instead she saw Gemma staring at the wall, in the same position as when she left to get Emily. She didn't look happy or upset, she just looked...blank. Kate closed the door quietly behind her, squatting down in front of Gemma. Maybe the sex was too much. Had she done something to upset her? 

"You alright?" 

Gemma rolled over and put her hands over her face. Now Kate was really concerned. She quickly moved to the edge of the bed and waited for Gemma to say something, anything. 

"I...you're going to think I'm mental." 

Kate tried to quickly think of what the brunette could possibly be eluding to. 

"Are you scared of being lonely?" 

"What?" 

Kate almost started laughing. Why the hell would that make her this shaken up? 

"No, I don't think so, why? Have you been sitting here trying to analyse me?" 

The serious look on Gemma's face made Kate stop smiling. 

"Your mum said she thinks you were with Simon for so long because you were afraid of the possibility of being alone." 

Kate now had a confused look on her face, wondering why the fuck her mother would say that. She knew nothing about her and Simon's relationship. 

"She knows nothing about his and I's relationship." 

"Kate," 

"No, don't _Kate_ me. She knows nothing about that. She's just trying to start shit." 

"I think she might've been right." 

Kate fell silent. Gemma took the opportunity to elaborate. 

"You were so desperate to save you and him. When you found out that he cheated you were ready to just move past it. You were ready to make it work even though you knew he was a piece of shit." 

"Like how you did? We had a child together, just like you and him did. I was trying to make it work for the sake of our child." 

Kate was on the defense, spitting out rebuttals. 

"Child or not, you still knew what he was like and you didn't leave. He hit his ex wife and you were ok with that." 

Kate was now up and pacing. She was trying not to snap and say something she'd regret, but right now she felt under attack. 

"Because I thought you were the bad guy! I thought that me and him were meant to be." 

"You could have seen the pictures of my blood on the floor and our smashed door and thought 'I don't want to end up like that'." 

"Well I thought you deserved it at the time." 

"Your parents advised you that he wasn't to be trusted, to leave him." 

"Why can't you understand that I was in love? I was young and in love and we had a baby together and yes, I was willing to do anything to make it work." 

"I know, I'm just asking why." 

"Why?! What the fuck do you mean why?! We had a _baby_ together." 

" _I had a child with him_. But I saw his true colors and I left." 

"I'm not you!" 

The room fell silent. Kate leaned against the dresser, running her hand through her hair. Gemma wanted answers, so she spoke up again. 

"Why are you with me? You could have anyone, and you chose me. Part of me thinks that you chose me because I let you." 

"What does that mean?" 

"You were desperate to not be alone and you knew I would say yes." 

"So I orchestrated this relationship? I kissed you that night because I was so lonely and I knew you would kiss me back?" 

"No, that's not what I'm saying-" 

"Then what are you saying?! Do you realize how mad you sound?" 

"Do you want me for me or do you want me so you won't be alone?" 

"You're insane." 

"Do you actually love me or are you so afraid of being alone that you're willing to put up with me just like you were willing to put up with Simon?" 

Kate looked at her in shock and confusion. She wondered how Gemma could've came up with such a delusion. 

"Listen to yourself. Do I love you? I consider you a parent of my child. I cook food for you, I know what shampoo you like, I know what fucking prescriptions you have. I don't ever lie to you. I respect you. And I fuck you good. So do I love you? I think so. I...How could you even fathom that I don't? Why would you ever compare yourself to him?" 

"We got together because the sex was amazing, just as you and Simon probably did. What I'm asking is did you stay at the beginning because not only was the sex good but you also didn't have to be alone? Did you stay to not be alone and then accidentally fall in love?" 

"Of course I wasn't supposed to fall in love with my ex husbands ex wife who divorced him after he accidentally knocked me up." 

"That doesn't answer my question." 

Kate was beyond frustrated. 

"I'm going to Tess's flat. Call me when you know what my fucking answer is." 

With that, Kate left. She went downstairs and grabbed her car keys. She told Emily she was running errands, and that no, she could not join. She kissed the top of her head and reminded herself to not slam the door. Tom was playing with Emily, trying to distract her enough that she wouldn't hear the raised voices. Gemma went and took a shower and broke down in tears. Kate on the other hand went to Tess's flat, not bothering to call to see if she was home. She fell onto the couch, putting her head in her hands. She didn't even think about bringing Emily with her. She'd gotten so used to depending on someone. Depending on that someone to watch _their_ daughter. Was she naïve to think that highly of Gemma? Was she naïve to move in after six months of dating? She felt like shit. She didn't know whether to think this was a petty fight that would blow over or if this would be the beginning of the end. Maybe they'd been in the honeymoon stage for far too long. A fight like this was inevitable right? Especially considering their history. Nonetheless she still felt like shit. The accusation that she didn't love Gemma hit her hard. Really fucking hard. Of course she wanted to work things out with Simon. They both lost their reputations to be together, the accidental pregnancy being the town gossip. She sort of felt that she had to prove to everyone that she wasn't a 'slut' or 'whore' or the 'other woman' but instead was who Simon was meant to be with all along. Plus she didn't want to be a charity case with the daughter who was the product of an affair who's parents divorced after her father cheated again (shocker). She'd gone through so much to be with Simon she was determined to make it work. Gemma could understand that right? 

\---

Gemma pulled herself together, going about the evening as if nothing happened. She asked Tom and Emily what they were hungry for and got it started, making a cup of tea as she cooked. Tom came in, grabbing a beer and sitting on the counter. 

"Counter." 

"Emily can do it." 

Gemma sighed. She was too tired to correct his poor manners. Sitting on the counter for ten minutes, tops, wouldn't kill anyone. 

"You ok?" 

Gemma looked up from the cutting board. Tom didn't look down on her pitiful, but instead sat and drank his beer as if he'd asked her if she was ok after stubbing her toe. 

"Not really." 

He nodded, grabbing an apple from the bowl beside him, taking a knife out from the drawer below him. 

"...Did she...hear?" 

He assumed she was referring to Emily. He shook his head. Gemma gave a sigh of relief. At least their little girl hadn't heard about her mother staying with a guy who hit women. Not that she'd really even understand. 

"Where'd Kate go?" 

"Tess's flat." 

"She coming back for dinner or is she spending the night?" 

"I don't know." 

Gemma said quietly, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She went back to preparing the food, filling a pot with water to boil. What would happen if they ended things? She honestly felt that she couldn't be apart from Emily. She'd really become a daughter to her. They had bed time and cuddled together at Tom's soccer matches when it was cold. She loved Tom, calling him Tommy. She couldn't imagine not sleeping next to Kate now. She liked coming home to a full house, people talking and laughing. Tom hopped down from the counter. He stopped and gave his mother a hug, knowing how much she loved them and missed them ever since he'd gotten older. 

"It'll blow over." 

"I don't think so." 

"It will." 

\---

Tom told his mum that he was going to the gym. That was a big fucking lie. He marched to Tess's flat instead. He knocked on the door and Tess opened it, letting him in. He saw Kate on the couch, her face indicating she'd been crying, a glass of red wine in her hand. Christ. How lucky he was to be dealing with two very emotional people. Kate immediately started wiping her face with the sleeve of the jumper she'd borrowed from Tess. She knew that Gemma was probably at home making dinner with Emily. She probably thought Kate was being dramatic and didn't think of it. 

"What the fuck happened?" 

She started crying again. She wasn't much of a crier but Gemma and Emily had softened her up. She couldn't even form words. 

"Fucks sake. It's the holidays and you two are fighting? Yesterday was Christmas, what the fuck is there to fight about?" 

"I-I-It's complicated." 

Tom looked to Tess. She just raised her eyebrows and sat down next to Kate, trying to get her to calm down. 

"Were you fighting about dad?" 

"Maybe? I don't even know at this point!" 

Tess decided to step in since she'd spent most of her night extracting this information. 

"She says Gemma was talking to her mum and her mum said that she was with Simon for so long because she was afraid of being alone. And then Gemma thought Kate is with her because she doesn't want to be alone. Apparently Gemma thinks that the sex...oh sorry that's weird...that the um attraction is what got them together and that Kate stayed because she felt that putting up with Gemma was better than being alone and that Kate then fell in love and that's how we got a long term relationship." 

Tom sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd rather deal with this than what his mum and dad put him through, but Christ this was annoying. 

"A-And the..." 

Kate mumbled out to Tess. She was too busy sniffling into a tissue to get a sentence out. 

"Oh and Gemma accused Kate of not loving her." 

Tom sat on the arm of the chair near the couch. He wasn't an expert in relationships. Especially not the relationship between his mum and step mum-then ex step mum-then sorta step mum. He mulled over what Tess had reported. It was kind of shitty that his mum accused Kate of not loving her. As much as he hated to admit it, Kate loved his mum. She actually loved her a lot. But then again he could see things from his mum's point of view. There wasn't a right side in this fight. 

"Both of you are right and wrong. Just please work this out because I don't want to have to distract Emily from you two's bullshit. And I definitely am weirded out by all of the crying." 

Tess gave him a look that said 'say it louder for the people in the back'. He left, walking home in the freezing cold. With his dad and mum it was easy to be on his mum's side. His dad had selfishly destroyed their family. When Simon got to him and started making excuses and false realities, Tom started to see it from his point of view but a part of him always knew what was right. But with his mum and Kate, he truly couldn't be on either side. He was pissed at his mum for being blind to fact that her and Kate were meant for each other (gag). He was pissed at Kate for acting like a child and storming off. Both were in the wrong. He hoped everything would blow over because seeing Kate emotional made him so fucking uncomfortable. 

\---

Kate came home the next morning. They didn't speak. A week went by. Eventually Emily asked Tom if something was wrong and Tom notified his mum and Kate. Gemma and Kate were forced to work this out. They sat on their bed, neither of them looking at each other that much. Finally, they began to talk and came to a decision. They were going to separate. By that they meant they wouldn't have the sappy shit, and they wouldn't have sex. They'd still sleep next to each other, have dinner together, do Emily's bed time together. But right now they both needed space. They needed space to think. They both knew if they continued to have sex that the issue would be swept under the rug. And they didn't want Kate and Emily to leave the house. So a mental/sexual separation was agreed upon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me, I had to add a little bit of ~spice~ 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait I've been working on some other stuff but thanks for all the support so far! Let me know what you guys think!! x

_**February** _

Valentine's Day was a sore topic. Gemma's friends at work joked that their husbands had nothing planned, a side effect of marriage and kids. Gemma smiled and laughed and thought 'well at least you have the possibility of Valentine's Day'. Kate reassured Tess that it was ok to be excited for her plans around her. Tess went on and on about the guy she was dating, saying that she was expecting flowers, chocolate, a nice dinner, maybe some jewelry. Kate was positive and upbeat for her friend, but felt like shit on the inside. She wishes she and Gemma could have all that. If they weren't separated Kate would've booked them a table at an expensive restaurant and bought Gemma a new dress and a pretty necklace. But now they would be at home, spending the night like any other night. She knew it was for the best. Stuff like that made you foggy. They both needed to figure things out and sappy romantic stuff like that would only make things worse. Maybe it would make things better. Kate didn't know. She honestly had no idea what the fuck they were doing. She didn't know what she was supposed to be thinking about. All she knew was that Gemma had hurt her that night. 

Most separated people would say that they put on a show for the sake of the child, but how they acted around Emily truly wasn't an act. They liked getting a few minutes here and there where they weren't separated, where things were normal. But then they'd be getting ready for bed in silence, not looking at each other, getting into bed and turning their backs to each other. They'd wake up on top of each other and they wouldn't speak of it. When conscious, they didn't want to touch each other. At least, not that much. It was if when they touched they would get a painful reminder of what they were. 

"I was talking to a friend at work and she knows a really good couples counselor." 

Kate peeked her head out of the bathroom. Gemma had never felt more shy. 

"Just if you're interested, I thought I would throw it out there. We're not really talking so..." 

"Couples counseling?" 

Gemma gave a small nod, Kate resuming her teeth brushing so that she could think about it. 

"Do you think it'd help?" 

Kate said with a mouth full of toothpaste. 

Gemma shrugged her shoulders. 

"My friend said it really helped her and her husband. I just thought I'd suggest it since we aren't really talking. Maybe we just need a little push in the right direction?" 

Kate stepped back into the bathroom and rinsed her mouth. She wanted to make this work. She wanted to make this work so fucking badly. 

"I think it's a good idea." 

"Really?" 

Gemma was a little shocked. Therapy wasn't really Kate's thing. 

"We both want this to work right? So let's get someone to help us make it work." 

"If you don't want to I understand, I don't want you to feel like you have to make this work." 

"So I don't love you and you hinting that it's ok if I want to run? I wonder why I'm still here if that was true." 

Gemma rested her forehead in the palm of her hand. 

"That's not what I was saying-" 

"I want this to work. If I didn't then I would've been long gone. Stop making it sound like I don't want us to make it out of this." 

"Sorry." 

Kate huffed and ripped her side of the covers back, getting into bed. In her effort to be serious, her boob popped out of her tank top. And of course, she was facing the middle of the bed, so Gemma was fortunate to see the whole ordeal. Kate peeked one eye open and looked at her rogue boob, too angry to put it back. Gemma hoped to relieve the tension, so she reached over and slipped it back into the tank top, patting it once it was covered. They both smiled. They had been so serious and angry for the past six weeks. 

"Thank you." 

Kate quietly said, Gemma turning her lamp off and burrowing underneath the covers. 

"No problem." 

\---

Kate's leg bounced nonstop. Gemma was annoyed by it, gently placing her hand on Kate's knee as a way to ask her to stop. She couldn't blame the blonde for being nervous. Gemma was comfortable around therapists. She even met their counselor since she was a few floors below hers. Kate on the other hand was extremely uncomfortable. She expected a stern lady similar to a headmaster, the lady firing off everything that was wrong with her. So when Sharon came out and looked no different than Gemma's nice friends, Kate was put at ease. She was soft spoken like Gemma, her hair up in a messy bun, a gray cardigan that had a pink pen in the pocket. They shook hands, Sharon leading them into the little room. It was actually...cozy. It looked like a room that would be apart of their home. Sharon sat in a leather chair, gesturing to the brown fabric couch. They sat on opposite ends, both of them setting their purses on the floor by their feet. 

"So Gemma already gave me a little background with the ex husband, but how'd you guys re-meet?" 

Gemma looked to Kate. 

K: "Um, we lived near each other and we ran into each other a couple times. I got stood up at the pub and Gemma and her friends popped in and invited me for a drink and we went home together that night." 

"Right places and right times, eh?" 

K: "I guess so." 

Kate immediately thought 'Sharon is the least judgmental person'. Kate looked around the room, seeing pictures of Sharon with kids on her desk, a bookshelf, a little lunchbox. 

"So I know you both have children, how old?" 

G: "Tom is 18 and Emily is about to turn 5." 

"If they're anything like mine, Emily has Tom wrapped around her finger," 

G: "Absolutely. She's the only one that's allowed to call him Tommy." 

"So I'm assuming that you both still live together to not break any routines for Emily?" 

Damn. She was good. 

K: "Yeah." 

"I think that was wise. I mean, if you both weren't totally 'we're done' why move everyone around?" 

G: "That's exactly why we didn't want Kate and Emily to move out." 

"Are you and Emily close?" 

G: "I see her as my own daughter." 

"So how have you both kept things the same? Different? Has there been any noticeable changes that Emily has noticed?" 

K: "We still sleep in the same bed and we all have dinner together, one thing we both wanted was stability for her." 

G: "She hasn't said anything, that we know of, but I do think that we've done a good job of keeping things normal with the exception being when it's just the two of us behind closed doors." 

"A united front, good." 

Sharon wrote some things into her folder for them, noting that their children were their number one priority. It was refreshing for her to see this since too many couples would involve the children sometimes purposely or accidentally. 

"Was there things that caused the separation, such as multiple events, or was it more one big fight and that was it." 

K: "One big fight." 

"Tell me about that." 

Neither of them responded. There was the issue. 

"Ok, let's have Gemma go first with her perspective and then we can get to you, Kate." 

G: "After Christmas dinner, Kate's mum and I were chatting and she said that Kate stayed with Simon for so long because she was afraid of being alone and she also said that Kate's been afraid of being alone even when she was child."

Gemma quieted down. She didn't really know where to go next. 

"And this worried you? Why?" 

G: "She's so young and attractive and smart and funny. I've always thought that being with her was too good to be true. I interpreted her mother's information as she's afraid of being alone so when I showed interest back, she clung onto me so that she wouldn't be alone. Even when she could easily find an amazing person that didn't have all of this shared trauma." 

"So you were wondering if your relationship had been founded off of Kate's fear of being alone?" 

Gemma nodded, taking a sip from her water bottle. 

"What happened during the fight?" 

G: "I asked her about it and I feel like there was a lot of misunderstanding and jumping to conclusions." 

"What would you say made you most upset?" 

G: "How she reacted. She reacted like a child quite honestly." 

Kate rolled her eyes and wasn't lucky enough for Sharon to not notice. 

"How did she react?" 

G: "She stormed off and spent the night at her friends flat instead of working through it." 

"Kate, how do you think you reacted?" 

K: "She made plenty of false accusations and I was feeling a bit attacked so yes, I went and spent the night at my friends flat." 

"Let's hear your side of the fight." 

K: "She told me about her concerns and she said do you actually love me or are you so afraid of being alone that you put up with me, which to me, was..." 

"Hurtful?" 

K: "She was asking me if I really loved her which I felt like she knew the answer to, but apparently not." 

  
  
“Let’s take a breather and step back for a second. Can you see why the other was upset?”

Both of them shrugged their shoulders. 

“Because what I’m hearing is both sides were very emotional at the time, I would be too, and that elevated everything. There’s no easy solution to this. Both of you were hurt by the other, both of you have broken some trust and lost some comfort in your relationship. And that’s fine. It’s similar to breaking in shoes. It’s uncomfortable at first and you might want to return the shoes, but you loved those shoes at the store and I’m here to help you both get past the breaking in. I think here we have a great pair of shoes that just needs some readjustment.”

—-

Therapy was tough. Sharon helped them uncover more issues in the relationship, mainly just small, petty things. Things were getting better though. Kate and Gemma weren't as awkward and they look each other in the eye. Tom was thankful for Sharon's help since he was always afraid that someone would walk out. Tom felt that the sessions Kate and Gemma attended twice a week were helping, helping their family get back to normal. But what brought Kate and Gemma back together wasn't even related to therapy. 

"I'm starting to worry about that cough." 

Gemma looked up from her book, looking over to Kate who was watching the telly. Gemma had noticed that Emily's cough was worse, but wasn't too concerned since Kate had recently taken her to the doctor. 

"I thought you went to the doctor? She said it was nothing," 

Kate stared at the TV, chewing her bottom lip. 

"Do you want me to take a look at her?" 

Kate looked at Gemma. She didn't want to be a bother, but she was worried. 

"Please," 

Gemma gave a small smile and got up. 

"I didn't mean right this second, just when you had a chance," 

"Well now you have me worried," 

Gemma took a little bag she had in her wardrobe and went to Emily's room, Kate following. Gemma peeked into Emily's room first to see if she was even awake. 

"Hi sweets," 

Emily opened up her arms, needing a tiny cuddle since she felt awful. 

Gemma sat on the edge of her bed, giving her a hug and putting her hand on Emily's forehead. No fever. Yet her little fingers were freezing and she seemed to be shaking. 

"No fever, that's good. I'm going to listen to your lungs alright?" 

She took out her stethoscope, the same one Emily asked to play with sometimes. She warmed up the chest piece with her hands, lifting the small girls pajama shirt up. Kate leaned against the door frame and saw that her little girl was in pain. Gemma listened for a few seconds, moving it around. 

"Deep breath Emmy...one more...and last one." 

Gemma put her stethoscope back into her bag, taking out her pulse oximeter. Tom had stepped out his bedroom to see what all the fuss was about. He stood next to Kate in the doorway and saw how worried she looked at his mother not saying anything after using her stethoscope and taking the pulse oximeter out. 

"She's checking her oxygen levels in her blood now." 

Tom whispered to Kate. Kate was thankful for the little piece of information since Gemma wasn't saying anything. 

"Are you cold baby?" 

Emily nodded and went back in for another hug. 

"I don't feel good." 

"I know, you have an infection in your chest. But we'll get you some medicine and you'll start to feel better. Me and mummy will get you a hot water bottle and some blankets ok?" 

She tucked Emily back in, zipping up her bag and walking out the door. She pointed to the stairs, Kate and Tom following her into the kitchen. 

"It's pneumonia." 

"Pneumonia?" 

Gemma scrubbed her hands. 

"She's a little bit warm and her chest definitely has fluid in there. Her oxygen level wasn't too bad, not bad enough for me to take her to the emergency room, but I'll take her in on...fuck I have that meeting tomorrow...I'll take her on Thursday and get some prescriptions and order an x-ray." 

"An x-ray?" 

"To see if it's really bad or not, it's probably not though," 

Tom said, walking past Kate to go back up to his room. 

Kate leaned against the counter. Emily had never been sick before. Not enough for her to go to a doctor and get an x-ray. Gemma set the kettle to boil and leaned against the counter next to Kate. She took Kate's hand and held it with two. 

Tom stayed home with with Emily on Wednesday. Since she was contagious it was mainly him bringing her food to her bedroom and bringing hot water bottles for her chills. Other than that, he chilled out in his room with his door kept open in case she needed anything. Kate stopped at home after work briefly before heading off to couples therapy where she would meet up with Gemma. She was hoping today would be a major breakthrough. Tom noticed how much worse Emily was today, texting Gemma updates. She kept on reassuring him that the symptoms were normal and that she'd take check up on his little sister once she got home. But when Emily could barely breathe, Tom said fuck it and got Emily's shoes. He slipped on her trainers on and picked her up, one of Emily's arms going on his back, the other holding her blanket. She coughed her little lungs out in the backseat, resting her head on the door, covered in her blanket and one of Tom's hoodies that was lying in the backseat. He parked and carried her in, Emily laying her head on his shoulder, practically gasping for air. He saw a giant clock in the hospital lobby, seeing that Kate and his mum wouldn't be out of their meeting for another 15 minutes. He didn't know what to do. Go to the counselors floor and wait for his mum or go to his mum's regular floor and hope that the office was open. He felt Emily shaking and went with the later. Luckily, there were still doctors there, only the patients had gone. A nurse unlocked the door. 

"Sir, I'm afraid we're closed," 

"I'm Gemma's son, this is my little sister and my mum says she has pneumonia." 

"Where's your mum?" 

"She's at a meeting so I was watching her and she can barely breathe." 

One of Gemma's work friends came to see who was at the door during closed hours. 

"Tom? Everything alright?" 

"Emily has pneumonia and I was watching her and she can barely breathe." 

The nurse along with Gemma's friend ushered them in, pulling paper down across an examination table. They got her an IV and listened to her chest. 

"Do you know when your mum is going to get out of that meeting?" 

"Seven minutes give or take?" 

"Is she...downstairs?" 

Tom nodded. 

"I thought so. I'll text her and let her know to come up ok? And Sheryl, if you don't mind, could you get the x-ray on please?" 

Sheryl nodded and left the room. 

"So, Sheryl will get her a chest x-ray right now because I'm worried about her low oxygen levels and I want to get a look at the inside." 

Kate and Gemma panicked when they saw the text that Tom had brought Emily in. They walked quickly to the lift, Gemma punching in the floor number. 

"It's fine, it's ok, it's better that she's here and not at home." 

Kate said, mainly to help herself calm down. Gemma unlocked the office door and walked to the examination room that was a straight shot from the door. 

"Anne, thank god you were here." 

"I gave her an IV since she looked a bit dehydrated. Here's her chest x-ray." 

Gemma and Anne talked a bit more, Anne leaving them to go home. 

"So she's just called to the pediatric floor and they want her tonight so they can keep an eye on the breathing and so we can start an antibiotic drip. She has a fever so it'll be good that they can monitor it and make sure it doesn't go up." 

Gemma took the IV out of Emily's arm, wrapping it up. Tom picked up Emily, everyone following Gemma down to the pediatric floor. They had Emily set up in a small room, Kate tucking her into bed as the nurse got the antibiotic IV going. Gemma had a word with the doctor, stepping back into the room and gently closing the door. She sat in the chair next to Kate's, taking Kate's hand. Kate seemed to relax at that. Emily watched them, too tired to smile at her mummies holding hands. For some reason they hadn't been holding hands that much. Kate and Gemma moved to the little couch after Tom picked up dinner in the cafeteria. Tom and Emily watched a kids movie on the TV, Tom with an airpod in as well as texting his friends periodically. Everyone was tired. Kate put her arm around Gemma and Gemma laid her head on her shoulder, their hands entwined. Both of them were shaken up by Emily's worsening pneumonia and they needed comfort. It just so happened that their physical touch always calmed both of them down no matter what. 

"Visitor hours are almost up." 

Kate looked at Gemma confused. 

"They only let someone stay if the person is in ICU." 

"That's fucking ridiculous." 

"I know." 

Gemma got up, making her way to the nurses station to get a run down. Emily's doctor happened to be there filling out paperwork. He and Gemma discussed the treatment, Gemma looking at her updated numbers. 

"Is there any way one of us could stay with her? She hates going to the doctors," 

Some of the nurses were about to say no, but the doctor stopped them. It certainly helped that Gemma had worked with this doctor before. 

"One. I don't want to get in trouble, but I do owe you a favor." 

"Thanks, Dan." 

Gemma went back to Emily's room, seeing that Emily was dozing off. She nodded to Kate, nonverbally asking her to step out. 

"I know the doctor so he'll let one of us stay. He owed me a favor. Do you want me to drop off fresh clothes in the morning?" 

Kate looked up and down the hall. She clenched her jaw and then slowly unclenched. 

"I...I have that fucking meeting with the board." 

Kate strongly considered just quitting. 

"Would they not understand?" 

"I have a presentation and it's the first chance in front of the big bosses to prove my worth." 

Gemma saw Kate mentally beating herself up. Kate's work was in the opposite direction of the hospital, plus sleeping on an uncomfortable couch and no shower isn't the way to start the day of your big presentation.

"That's ok, I can stay-" 

"No, you have that evaluation meeting."

"I can just sleep here, I keep a change of clothes in my office." 

"You can't sleep on that tiny couch that's uncomfortable and then do your evaluation meeting." 

Both of them had to be well rested for their meetings. Both had been preparing for these meetings for some time now. Kate lightly tapped on the glass window, Tom pulling up the blind. Kate had him come out and join them. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" 

"Nothing, I have work around noon." 

"Can you stay tonight? They're letting one of us stay but me and your mum have those big meetings that we have to be fresh for." 

"Sure." 

Kate hugged him quickly, whispering a thankyou, the two of them pulling back and acting like nothing had happened. Meanwhile Gemma's heart was ready to burst. He went back into the room, popping his airpod back in. 

"I'll check in before my meeting." 

Kate leaned against the wall, running her hand through her hair. 

"She's going to be fine." 

"I know. I just hate seeing her in pain." 

"I do too." 

They got their purses, taking the car keys from Tom since Gemma nor Kate had driven here. Despite being separated, Kate still opened Gemma's car door, holding it open and closing it once she made sure Gemma was fully in. She didn't even notice that she'd done it. They drove in silence. The tension had never been thicker. It was more awkwardness and stolen glances. They both knew the other was stressed from today. They both knew what the other felt when they had held hands and sat close together on the couch. They needed each other right now. Sharon encouraged them to keep their no sex rule until they both felt that it was time to resume that part of their relationship. Sharon had said that the no sex rule could be used for a variety of situations and that since they both had decided on it in the beginning that they should probably continue it. Maybe it was time, both of them thought as the car distanced them from downtown London. 

"I love you." 

Gemma spit out. It more so fell out of her mouth, slipping from her thoughts. Kate looked over a split second, going red. She felt like a teenager. 

"I love you too." 

They didn't say anything else. There were more stolen glances, even as they passed through the front door. Kate sat at the kitchen counter after pouring herself a glass of water. She needed to calm down. Gemma was probably just saying that due to the heaviness of today. She put her glass beside the sink, going upstairs and taking her earrings out before the mirror. She set them in her jewelry box, closing it and sliding it to it's designated spot on the counter. She put her hands on either side of the counter, hanging her head. She needed a moment. Gemma came in after retrieving their laundry basket, setting it in it's corner and creeping towards the bathroom. She decided enough was enough. She went up behind Kate, Kate stiffening for a second, and wrapped her arms around Kate's waist. She laid her head on Kate's back, the two of them staying frozen. 

"I miss you." 

Kate quietly said, almost under her breath. She lifted her head, turning around in Gemma's arms. She wrapped her arms around Gemma's waist, pulling her closer. 

"I miss you more." 

"Can we break the no sex rule?" 

Gemma smiled and nodded, leaning in for a kiss. They both needed this so badly. With Simon, sex was used as a coverup. A coverup from their real issues. With Simon, sex was used to cure all and destroy all. With Kate and Gemma, it was a beautiful thing that both parties felt they would be best without until they figured things out. But after countless hours working on their relationship, both had begun to think that it was time to reintroduce the physical part of the relationship. 

Both felt that they were going to crumble to pieces just from the kiss. They melted in each others arms. It started off slow, neither of them aiming for sex, instead they were just taking the time to love each other. Kate gently tugged the back of Gemma's blouse up, untucking it from her trousers. She tucked her fingers into the waistband, feeling the need to touch any part of Gemma's skin. Gemma took that as an invitation, tugging Kate's shirt up, Kate lifting her arms. Kate unbuttoned Gemma's pants, the zipper still holding them up, tucking her hands beneath the waistband and settling her hands on Gemma's ass. Gemma's hands roamed Kate's expansive back. After a few moments, Gemma pulled back, looping a finger through Kate's belt loops. She tugged Kate to their bed, gently pushing Kate down to the bed. She stood before her, taking her blouse off, Kate reaching out, desperate to feel all over. They mainly just made out, eventually shoving their hands down beneath their waists. Both came, their faces close, close enough for the other to feel their ragged breaths. They laid next to each other and just stared. Kate ran her thumb along Gemma's sharp jaw, Gemma's hand hanging off of Kate's side, her fingers dragging gently across Kate's backside. 

"I feel so deeply in love with you. I've ended up loving you more than any other person besides Emily. I didn't think it would be possible. So to answer your question from that night, I did accidentally fall in love with you, but it's the best decision of my life, tying with not aborting Emily. I didn't stay because I was scared of being alone, I stayed because I couldn't imagine a life where I didn't wake up next to you everyday, or where I couldn't kiss you whenever I wanted." 

She moved her thumb, swiping it across Gemma's bottom lip. 

"I don't think I could live without you or Emily or Tom in my life. I stayed with Simon because I was scared. I stayed with you because I was so happy." 

Gemma pressed a soft kiss to Kate's lips before turning and rummaging through her bedside drawer. 

"I made a list of everything that you do that makes me happy, that makes me know that you love me.

1\. If I have a nightmare, you'll wake up and gently wake me up and hold me. 

2\. You fold the towels the way that I like them folded, not because it's easy, but because I like it them done a certain way.

3\. You save little ideas that you'd think I'd like, stuff like date night ideas or birthday ideas. 

"How did you-" 

"You're not very good at hiding things, babe.

4\. You take me clothes shopping and make me feel so confident and sexy.

5\. You're not embarrassed to introduce me to your friends even though you're half my age. 

6\. You send flowers to my work every now and again for no reason at all, and you always write the sweetest things. 

7\. You're so amazing in bed and you make sure that I'm happy. You remember which things I like best and you do the cutest things like dressing up in a slutty nurse outfit. 

The list goes on and on so now I'm just going to go over the things that I love about you." 

"I thought you just did that?" 

"Well they're more things I like about you in general, things with the kids.

1\. You treat Tom like your son. You treat him no different to Emily. I know that it's a bit awkward, but you try, and that's all that matters. 

2\. You make us all breakfast on the weekends, even after we spend all night having _fun._

3\. You own up to your mistakes and you don't lie now. 

4\. Sometimes if I'm not in bed, I'll find you with your arm hanging off the bed and you'll drool, but you'll look so adorable. 

5\. You take time to look up braiding styles to impress Emily, even though you trap me in between your legs and use sex as a reward for letting you practice on me." 

Kate scooted close, taking the paper out of Gemma's hands. 

"I will take that." 

"I wasn't finished." 

"I want to cry over it in private." 

Gemma smiled. 

"That's also on the list." 

"Hm?" 

"You acting all sexy and bitchy but then being absolutely soft with us." 

Kate didn't respond, instead scooting down and nuzzling her head against Gemma's chest. She kissed the top of Gemma's left boob. 

"I missed them most." 

Gemma laughed, sinking her fingers into Kate's golden hair. 

"I missed this." 

She slapped Kate's ass, Kate yelping, both of them laughing. 

"You have the cutest little ass." 

"I could say the same thing." 

\---

Emily was released the next day, Gemma popping downstairs to sign the release papers, Tom taking Emily home. That night, Tom realized the shift in the energy. 

"Are you and Kate back to normal?" 

"I think so." 

Gemma said with a smile, tidying up the kitchen. 

"Hm. Good." 

"Good?" 

Tom rolled his eyes. 

"You already know that I like her better than dad." 

"Why do you like her better than dad?" 

"Because she makes you happy." 

Tom took the plate Gemma handed him and put it in the cupboard. 

"Plus she knows my name, she doesn't constantly call me 'mate'." 

That was one of the things Gemma liked most about Kate. She didn't use Tom or try to do reverse psychology. She didn't try to be best friends with him, nor did she make him feel guilty. 

"We still have some things to work on, but I think things will go somewhat back to normal." 

Tom went to the living room, leaving Gemma to hang up the dish towels. Her phone buzzed. It was a booking confirmation for a hotel room from Kate. 

_I have weeks to make up for and your schedule was clear next weekend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait I've been working on some other stuff but thanks for all the support so far! Let me know what you guys think!! x


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while, but it's here! Let me know what you guys think! Happy New Year!!! xx

**_September_ **

Tom had moved out and gone to university. Emily was sad that her big brother was no longer around on a regular basis, but he always made it up to her when he’d visit. Gemma and Kate missed him, and they also missed having a live-in babysitter.   
  


“Mummmmmmm.”

“Hm? What’s wrong, darling?”

“When is Tommy coming home?”

“I think next weekend.”

Emily groaned and dramatically flopped onto the couch. Gemma looked up from her medical journal, smiling at how Emily’s dramatics mirrored Kate’s.

“I’m bored thoughhhhhh.”

“He’s busy with school but he’s found time to come and visit...” 

Gemma looked through her and Tom’s texts to check.

“Yes, next weekend.”

Emily frowned and hung off the couch upside down. Gemma frowned and closed her laptop. She didn’t really understand why Emily missed Tom so much, but then again she was an only child.

“What do you want to do? We can do something fun,” 

“But I want to do something fun with Tom.”

“What do you and Tom do?”

“I watch him play video games and he plays football with me and he’s funny with my dolls.”

“Dolls? We can play dolls,” 

“But it’s more fun with himmmm”

“Why is it more fun with him?”

“Because he does funny things with them.”

“Like what?”

“We play this one game called home attack and a bad guy comes in and tries to kill all the dolls.”

Gemma stopped folding a blanket that was previously on the floor.

“You both what?”

“It’s fun when me and him play it, I couldn’t play it with you, it wouldn’t be the same.”

Gemma made a mental note to text Tom “WTF” later.

“How about we watch a movie?”

“I already watched a movie today.”

“The park?”

“Too wet outside.”

“Erhm...” 

Gemma tried to think of everything they could possibly do together.

“How about a girls day? Just me and you. We can do our hair and paint our nails and have mummy meet us for lunch,”

Emily thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. 

\---

"Are you sure you want to do this? Isn't it ridiculously expensive?" 

Tess set down a bowl of crisps between them. Kate browsed the TV channels, settling on a reality TV show that they could watch yet talk through. 

"My mum and dad already said they'd pay for it." 

"Have you talked to her yet?" 

"No..." 

"Why not?" 

"Because it's not easy to talk about that sort of thing. It's not something I want to bring up at dinner, plus Tom just moved out so I don't want to shake things up even more than they are already." 

"She’s your girlfriend, it should be easy to bring up sometime, even for people like you who keep things to themselves.”

“I’m going to, I just need to find the right time. I feel like I can tell her, it’s just... I don’t know, it’s awkward? With Emily, I was pregnant, we had to figure it out because I was already knocked up. But with this it’s... we have more options... more options like not getting pregnant at all. Saying to our friends that I was dating a woman, let alone her, was already hard enough. And people have been so supportive, even if they were a bit confused, but I don't know..." 

"Internalized homophobia?" 

Tess said with a raised eyebrow, tossing a crisp into her mouth. Kate smiled, mainly because it was something she could've seen herself struggling with when she was younger. But she'd never been interested in women until she ran into Gemma that day at the supermarket. 

"No, it's more...new territory. And even if it's new territory, like having to try to get pregnant instead of it being on accident, it's new territory that I think I'm ready to take on with her. There's no one else I would want to take on something big like this with." 

\---

Gemma rooted around the bathroom cabinet, searching for the purple nail polish she swore she had saw yesterday. She reached into the abyss, pulling things out so that (hopefully) she could find the nail polish Emily requested. She pulled out a hair dryer and cans of hairspray, even some extra shampoo, but also found a pamphlet. It was a pamphlet on family starting. She folded it in half and slipped it into her pocket. Obviously, it was Kate’s. But she didn’t know _why_ Kate had it. She didn’t exactly know the status of Kate’s reproductive system, and she didn’t know Kate’s stance on having more children. But for now, she needed to be calm and not overreact. 

\---

“My two girls are looking extra gorgeous today!”

Kate said as she sat down, leaning to the side to kiss the top of Emily’s head.

“Mum said you two were having a girls day?”

Emily smiled and nodded, then going on to explain everything they’d done. Kate noticed that Gemma seemed a little distant, but thought maybe she was just hungry. But they ate and Gemma was still distracted.

“You ok?”

Kate quietly said to Gemma, not wanting Emily to think something was wrong. 

“We need to talk.”

“Ok, ehm, sweetie, how about we go to the park? It seems to have dried up.”

Emily nodded eagerly, her mouth full of pizza. 

\---

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Gemma pulled out the pamphlet and handed it to Kate.

“Fuck, babe,” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was trying to find the right time,” 

“Why’d you shove it in the cabinet?”

“I had it hidden on my side of the bedroom but then you were looking for that necklace and I panicked so I took it to the bathroom and just threw it under there.”

“Why did you have it hidden?”

“I’ve had it for a while and I've been thinking about it and I didn’t want you to find it and freak out because this isn’t something that I’m like looking at everyday and thinking about 24/7, it's just a pamphlet with some information that I was looking at-”

“Do you want this?”

“What?”

“Do you want...that?”

Kate looked down at the pamphlet, then looked up and watched Emily on the swings. Their number one rule was honesty.

“I’ve always wanted more than one,” 

She quietly said along with a shrug. Gemma didn’t know how to respond. Having Tom was hard and she even gave him a shitty childhood. She loved Emily, but she started taking care of Emily when she was five. Taking care of an infant was different. Plus, Kate would be pregnant for nine months.

“We don’t have to, we can just forget this happened,” 

Kate said barely above a whisper. She knew that there was a good chance that Gemma didn’t want another kid. She’d actually be surprised if Gemma was on board with the idea.

“Let me think about it?”

Kate nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. 

\--- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while, but it's here! Let me know what you guys think! Happy New Year!!! xx

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think and if you want more!!!


End file.
